Becoming a Doll

1/25/18 Thrifting and Still Stressin

Stress is unbecoming of a doll. That much I know.
I'm still stressing over the text issues. I brought it up when we last chatted and he simply said "I just don't." The context made it sound kind of like he meant he just doesn't say it.
To me, it still struck my emotional side as he doesn't love me, and to boot, he didn't even try to console my worries. That's the part that upsets me the most.
I signed up for an online therapy site called iPrevail, but until I get my replacement debit card, I can't utilize it. Sadly, it won't let me use PayPal, and I'm not a fan of that. 😧
So here I am, crying and a freaking mess, not dolly-like at all.
Like, do I tell him I need a couple of weekends to myself so I can start the therapy without being baggage and try to work through my issues myself?
He said he doesn't think I need it but he supports me if I do. I don't feel like I should. I love it when other people get the mental help they may need, but I'm afraid of talking bad about people. I'm for sure the type of person who takes stuff in and assumes it's all my fault.

I was ok yesterday. I listened to a bunch of podcasts yesterday at work, but I even had a meltdown on my way to there, so I wasn't the most stable. Bunker Buddies is a great show, by the way.

When I went thrifting I scored a gorgeous long skirt, faux fur vest, cameo necklace, a stainless steel water bottle, and a pair of heeled booties that aren't tall and spindly. They're perfect for winter!

I need to start dieting today again. I just can't handle having a pudgy tummy. I can only hide so much with an a-line skirt and I was way happier at my old weight. I'm thinking I may start having a quarter cup of apple sauce for breakfast. Fruit for the midmorning snack, leftovers for lunch(which can be my big meal) and a very small dinner. The frequency will up my metabolism, and the lower caloric intake will help me shed pounds.