It was harder than Ben had anticipated to keep his training sessions separate in his mind and emotions.
While training with Snoke he was encouraged to focus and channel all the anger he felt toward those who had hurt and betrayed him into his manipulation of the Force. This felt good. It gave him an outlet for these negative emotions and made him feel extraordinarily powerful.
Whereas while training with Luke he found himself obligated to rein in his emotions and force a damper on his anger. This was becoming increasingly more difficult to manage and there were times he was unable to manage it at all, resulting in occasional displays of unwarranted aggression and what Luke referred to as 'excessive use of the Force' during lessons.
These outbursts worried Luke slightly, although he was reluctant to confront his nephew.
Ben was slightly concerned as well. No good would come of his uncle growing suspicious.
Perhaps what he needed was to come up with a pseudonym to use while training with Snoke. Ben Solo was a soft name, a Light Side name. Maybe if he thought up a good Dark Side name to use only in his lessons with Snoke it would help to define that boundary for him.
He closed his eyes as he sat on his cot and reached out with his senses, searching the Force for a name.
The first designation to come to mind was Ky Lo'Ren. He liked that, although he found it perhaps a bit pretentious. Maybe something that sounded comparable but simplified, without the apostrophe.
"Kylo Ren," he said aloud, savoring the sound of it. Yes, that would do nicely.
Snoke's form suddenly appeared in Ben's tent, startling him. He was still not accustomed to being instantly Force-connected to Snoke without warning. He didn't think he ever would be accustomed to it.
"Master Snoke," he greeted him. As always he refused to kneel before Snoke, although the compulsion to do so increased in intensity with each visitation.
"Shall we begin our lesson, Ben?"
"I'd like to request that you call me Kylo Ren during our training sessions, Master Snoke."
Snoke laughed unpleasantly.
"I warned you, did I not, that trying to embrace both sides of the Force would tear you apart?"
"It's not that," Ben protested.
"You cannot lie to me, Kylo Ren."
"It's been harder than I thought," Ben admitted reluctantly. "But it's not tearing me apart. I just thought using a different name might help make it easier."
"You're a fool. You are not strong enough to straddle the Light and the Dark."
"I'll prove you wrong."
"Shall we begin our lesson?"
"I'm ready," Ben agreed.
The day's 'lesson' seemed to entail Snoke making hurtful and disparaging remarks about Ben's parents and uncle until tears of rage spilled down the young man's cheeks and he snatched up his lightsaber.
"Such passion," Snoke chuckled. "That passion and affection for your family will be your downfall. Emotions make you weak, vulnerable, foolish. And that's your lesson, Ben...excuse me, Kylo."
"No," Ben protested. "Emotions make you human."
"Exactly. Exactly. Humanity makes you weak, vulnerable, foolish. It allows others to take advantage of you. To hurt you. To betray you. That pull toward the Light that you feel is the pull toward your demise."
"That's not true. It can't be true!"
"You have much to learn. I only wonder how much of it you will have to learn at your own expense."
Before Ben could answer him the Temple bell rang, calling the Jedi trainees in for lunch.
"I have to go," Ben said shortly.
"Yes, go and run to those who would see to your failure," Snoke mocked before breaking the connection.
"Are you all right?" Luke asked Ben as they all sat down at the table. The teen looked as though he was somewhat troubled or under stress.
"I'm fine," Ben responded.
Luke decided not to prod. Ben seemed to be almost constantly on the verge of losing his temper with very little provocation recently and Luke deemed that it was probably better to just leave him be.
After lunch Luke suggested a sparring session.
"Ben, Dane, you two're the best with a saber. Why don't you give us a demonstration of how it's done."
"Okay," Luke said when the two boys squared off against each other, "remember this is a blocking demonstration only. Your intention is not to injure each other. Is that understood?"
"Yes, Master Luke," Ben and Dane responded in semi-unison.
"All right then, power up."
Ben and Dane were well matched in skill and they performed a capable demonstration of strike, dodge, parry until Dane stumbled over a rock.
Sensing that his fellow student was about to fall, Ben powered off his lightsaber to avoid accidental injury.
As Dane fell forward toward Ben the tip of his own lightsaber, still powered on, caught Ben's upper right arm, searing a deep gash from just below his shoulder to just above the inside of his elbow.
Although Ben was entirely aware that the incident had been unintentional he was not able to control the instant wave of pain-fuelled rage that washed over him. He threw down his lightsaber and thrust out his left hand with his fingers bent as though grasping something at a level with Dane's throat.
"Ben, don't!" Luke exclaimed, wide-eyed.
It was too late. Dane was gasping and choking, clawing at his throat with his hands as though trying to break the grip of a hand that was not actually there.
His dark eyes filled with a mixture of agony and ferocity, Ben raised his arm slowly until Dane hung in the air with his feet dangling an inch or two above the ground, still struggling for breath. His face was a very deep shade of red, bordering on violet.
"Ben, stop!" The abject terror in Luke's voice reached Ben in a way that anger would not have.
With some amount of difficulty, Ben forced his fingers to open. Dane dropped gasping to the ground while Ben sank to his knees shaking uncontrollably, blood flowing down his right arm.
Luke ran to Dane's side.
"Dane! Are you all right?"
Dane sat up slowly.
"I'm okay, Master Luke," he rasped after coughing two or three times. He glanced over at Ben and added, "Ben's hurt."
"Let's get you to the infirmary," Luke murmured, helping Ben to his feet. The youth had gone noticeably pale by this point, having lost a fair amount of blood.
"I'm sorry, Ben," Dane apologized sincerely, getting to his feet.
"Me too," Ben replied.
"I didn't teach you how to Force-choke," Luke stated in a carefully neutral tone as he walked Ben toward the Temple infirmary.
"No, you didn't," Ben agreed.
"So who did?" In Luke's experience, when a Jedi turned to the Dark Side it was because there was someone seducing them in that direction. For Anakin it was Sheev Palpatine. Who was seducing Ben toward the Dark?
"Nobody," Ben replied. He was beginning to feel a little lightheaded.
"You're telling me you just figured it out by yourself?" Luke inquired doubtfuly.
"Yeah. Once you know how to use the Force it's not hard to figure things out."
Luke Skywalker knew better. But he also knew better than to push his nephew to talk when he didn't want to.
He was, however, deeply concerned. He would have to keep a very close eye on Ben.
