Devin's Chronicles: Love Ain't Supposed To Hurt

Chapter 5

I was sitting in the living room playing the PS3 and just thinking. When Devin admitted to me that he was gay it did something to me. Actually, it made it easier for me to open up to him myself. Ever since we were young I�ve had feelings for him, only then I didn�t know what they were and wasn�t sure why I was having them. I thought I was crazy until I got in middle school and learned the truth. When I found out that liking another nigga was being gay which meant you were despised I tried to cover up the truth. I could never really let go of them fully but I found enough strength to keep them closeted. 

When I went to Georgia, not a day passed that I didn�t think about him. Sometimes, I would cry myself to sleep at night because I wanted to be with him. As I got older, the crying faded and I just took that out fucking with girls. Being in Georgia, I learned that it was a great possibility that anybody could be on the low which meant I could have fucked with just as many niggas but I wouldn�t do it. I always hoped in the back of my mind that one day I would be able to share that life changing experience with Devin. From the looks of it now, I may get that chance. 

�What�s wrong with you?� I asked Devin as he walked in the door. 

He looked like he could cry his eyes out right now. Actually, it made him look even sexier. Devin to me looked like Ray J and although I was never actually attracted to the singer, I�m completely attracted to Devin. 

�Nothing�I�m fine� 

�No you�re not, something is wrong. You can�t lie to me and you know it� 

Ever since we was small, Devin could never tell me a lie. I don�t know why but I guess it was just how it was. 

�I don�t want to talk about it� 

�Guess it didn�t went well with your trip to your boyfriend huh� 

�How did you know that?� 

�You�ve been texting and calling him all day. You left your phone on the chair when you left� 

�Why the fuck you went through my phone?� 

�You know if the tables were turn you would have went through mine. Take it as early payback� 

He sat down on the couch and told me what happened. From his talk, it seems like Derek is nothing to compete against. He already had his hands full trying to compete with someone else�s chick. The one thing I didn�t like is to see Devin sad though. I never liked it and you would think I would be over it after all this time. I guess I still have my childhood emotions. 

�I wish you would come on and move in with us� 

�And why is that?� 

�So you won�t have to spend basically your whole paycheck trying to keep a hotel room. You�re the first person I ever knew to stay a month in a hotel� 

�Maybe I like being different. But are you sure that�s why you want me to move in so bad? You�ve been asking me ever since I told you were I was crashing� 

��I mean yeah�you know there is room for you here. Mama will pack your bags and bring them here herself if she has too� 

I smiled. His mama really did love me. But, I still wasn�t sure if that was a good move to make. I didn�t tell him that I was considering it I hadn�t reached my decision yet. 

�I tell you what. Instead of sitting here and pouting why not lets go out� 

�Where?� 

�Shit anywhere, it don�t matter. I�m tired of sitting in the house now and I�m tired of playing this game. I wanna go out and enjoy the fresh air� I said, laughing. 

We sort of cleaned up the mess that we made and headed out in his Hyundai Elantra (2000).