My Ex Best Friend

If 2 Negatives equals a Positive then Wheres Mine...

This memory was submitted by an anonymous user

This girl and I were best friends for 12 years and everyone knew us as being best friends. We were really popular and no matter what happened we stayed best friends.

When we were about 13, one day, out of the blue, she started commenting on my weight and appearance when she had never even mentioned it before. It was obvious and still is obvious that I'm definitely not fat, but I'm a little bit bigger than others. For around 3 weeks she kept on saying unnecessary things about me, and I just laughed it off hit but it really hurt because I have no idea what happened.

One day, she ignored me the whole day and hung out with someone who she had recently said she despised. After school, she texted me and said, "tbh I've kinda lost interest in you and our friendship, don't talk to me, I'm done, I've moved on"I swear to god I missed a week of school.

That's not all though, as I found out that she had been making rumors of me sleeping around and sleeping with her boyfriend! WE WERE 12 FOR GODS SAKE! And people actually believed it! When I went into school, I really only had one Friend, who was a good Friend of mine who was a boy and I also had a crush on him (she knew I had a crush on him) I hung out with him, but Everyday whenever I walked alone to classes (he wasn't in my class) she would pick on me and say horrible things about her new gang.

After a couple of weeks of this, as a lot of 12 years old nowadays, I had cut and self-harmed and very highly thought of suicide. I can't explain the things she would say and even if I could, I wouldn't.

After a weekend, I walked into school at lunch to see her and my Best Friend/ crush, sitting, holding each other's hands. They didn't notice me so I walked past and heard "I don't know why I stuck with Josie for so Long" from the boy. I was so confused.

On Friday before, he had been joking with me and we were both happy. For the next 8 weeks, I would eat (or not eat, I tried starving myself) in the bathroom to head home and lock myself in another desolate bathroom.

Eventually, my crush and her started dating (after she broke up with her Boyfriend) and I was already so broken inside that I couldn't react. Next year, a new boy came in my class. He always seemed sad and quiet so I started talking to him. He told me about how he was bullied and that's why he moved. We became friends.

Really really really good friends and one day he asked me out. We were so incredibly happy and although we were young and we wouldn't last forever, we both thought we would stay together for a Long time. But no, this same bully had apparently not found enough happiness in my depression and somehow convinced my boyfriend that I had bad mouthed him and cheated on him.

He believed it and there it was.

The second boy she stripped me. Time went on and I got used to being alone. I made small friends and they sit with in-form room with me, but they never noticed me outside of that. To this day, she still teases me, and I'm mainly still alone, I have a few friends. She's still dating the first boy and she's really good friends with the second. I still think about suicide. I still self-harm.

I'm just hoping that life is saving up all my lucky stars so one day I'll find someone as broken as me to hug me so tight my heart will work again. As they say in maths, two negatives make a positive - I'm just waiting for mine.