Hopeless| A Zombie Novel

Chapter 11- Weak

Haley~

"Ew cranberry sauce is disgusting with baked beans." I gag at the sweet mixture ugh it tastes absolutely horrible.

"Actually I like it." Elliot shrugs scraping his can and spooning the contents into his mouth, making me cringe.

It has been three days since we've been lost from the group. Three days since Amber left and three days of regret for me. I feel free yes, but I miss them. I miss Travis's corny jokes and brotherly hugs, I even miss Amber's witty commentary and her helpful survival tips. She's a pain in the ass, but I miss her. I worry I'll never see my best friend again, and it would be all my fault for not going with, but what was I to do? Just abandon people that needed help? I've been doing that since the whole virus started and I'm sick of it. If you could help somebody why not do it?

We had to leave the shack, rotters kept stumbling up and too many would become a problem sooner or later .So here we sit as the sun sets over a blazing small fire, with warm cranberry, baked bean mix dinner. Its absolutely disgusting yet I feel serene. Which is weirder since this is the apocalypse.

"There's that face again. The face of little miss goody two shoes feeling glum." Elliot taunts. It's weird how quickly his moods can change one moment he's cracking jokes and actually having a civil conversation with me, the next it's complete silent or a spew of colorful words I need not repeat.

"I just miss how the world used to be, I mean I had so many plans for my future, just for it all to go to waste just seems...unfair." Am I really opening up to a stranger? Well who else do I talk to.

Elliot just shakes his head and looks at the burning fire. I guess that topic is hard for everyone now. I just can't get it off my mind, all my plans, all my dreams just changed so quickly now every day is a struggle and I fear this will be never ending, that there will never be a cure.

"Life isn't about dreams or plans Haley." I snap my attention back to Elliot's voice his mind seems to be elsewhere. "It's about taking things how they are, you have to accept that your life will be nothing but running and hiding either from crazy raiders, or brainless rotters. Either way your normal life is over, you either accept it or die."

And there goes the nice Elliot, he snaps a twig in his hands. He hasn't once looked me in the eye and of course like always I'm regretting saying anything. I should've just made up something dumb. Just another thing I miss about, Travis. He always listened and gave me some sort of normality.

You know that feeling of wanting to cry, but you hold it in because you don't want to seem like a cry baby? Yeah that's my daily struggle. I gulp down the lump in my throat and shield my face with my hair, I can't help but let the few tears slip and I quickly wipe them away.

Stop crying. I tell myself but the tears just keep flowing and soon enough the sniffles come. Geez Louise I'm such a cry baby I know people think that crying is a weakness but honestly I'm more mad then anything so those people can kiss my ass. I jump at the feeling of a hand touching my shoulder I look over to see none other than Elliot sitting beside me awkwardly patting my shoulder in some sort of comfort.

"You're not weak, Haley. You're just too kind for this world." He whispers so lightly I almost missed it.

What's wrong with being kind? Isn't that what most parents want in their child? Am I supposed to be an asshole just because the world is shit now? Everything has changed and I hoped that I could stay the same. I will stay the same. Just because this world is nothing but monsters now doesn't mean I have to be one.