Brothers Best Friend » Lashton

Chapter Ten

A s h t o n

I had Luke on my mind a lot lately. Was he with someone? Was he trying to move on? Was he happier?

My phone broke me from my thoughts and I excused myself from my mum and siblings. I was a little upset here recently, after discovering my father had killed himself because of the cruel things my uncle did.

"Hello?" I answered, after seeing Kai's name on the call log. I heard shuffling in the background and heard choked sobs. "Kai? Are you okay?"

"No." He choked out, sobs following the one word he tried to speak. I heard him trying to collect himself so he could explain. "I just needed you. I can't handle this alone, and—and all my so called friends are too busy. I know you're trying to spend time with your mum, but I—I just need you right now."

His sobs echoed through the speaker as my eyebrows furrowed. "Is everything okay? Did something with your parents happen?" His sobs were still heard, but he tried to suck it up so he could talk properly.

"No, Ashton. They're fine. Honestly, if it was them, it wouldn't hurt as much." He whispered, his voice still choking back his sobs.

"Then tell me what happened." I said gently, wanting him to know I was listening and that I cared as to why he was so upset.

"I—" His sobs were leaking through the phone, making my heart break slightly more. I hated hearing my brother having a break down. "Can you just get down here? I r—really need you?" He choked, and I heard the pain in his voice.

I sighed gently but told him I would be there as soon as I could, and with that we ended the call.

I walked back into the room where my family was, smiling sadly at them. I guess they overheard and knew I was leaving. "I have to go back to Sydney for a few, but I'll be back as soon as I can."

With that, they all gave me hugs and wished me the best luck. I climbed into a cab and headed my way to the airport.

I hummed softly along to the song lightly playing on the radio.

The plane ride was boring as usual, but I was worried the whole time. Did someone in our family pass away? Someone Kai was close to?

I pulled up at the house and immediately walked inside. Kai's parents weren't around as usual, which for once made me glad. I wasn't up for speaking to them.

I knocked on Kai's door gently before walking in and seeing him asleep on his bed. I smiled sadly as I saw his tear stained cheeks. His hair was all over the place and he reeked, which wasn't like Kai. He was always clean and kept himself fresh.

He stirred a bit before opening his eyes. A few seconds after he opened them, his eyes filled with sadness as tears began rolling down his cheeks as well. It was something serious for Kai to act this way. I made my presence known as I sat on his bed, rubbing his back.

He didn't even look up, just sobbing into his hands. It broke my heart to see someone so strong, be in so much pain. I wasnt sure if he wanted to talk about it so I didn't bring it up.

After a few minutes, he settled down a bit and ran a hand through his hair. I sat back a little and looked at him. He looked rough. He had bags under his eyes. He looked so exhausted. He had lost any sense of happiness in his body, it was so obvious.

"I know you flew all the way here just to check on me and I appreciate it. Thank you." He started, and I sent him a small smile to show I was listening. He then sighed and looked at me.

"I know about you and him, because you aren't very good at hiding shit. I've seen you two, and I'm not angry." He spoke slowly and my heart began racing.

"Kai—"

He cut me off and looked at his feet. "I'm not angry at all. In fact, I think what happened prevented me from being angry. How can I be angry at him now?" He muttered, more tears forming in his eyes.

My heart was racing with fear as I looked at my brother. "Kai.. W—what are you talking about?"

He didn't answer at first, but finally, he decided to speak up. "You both looked at each other so much. He always told me that he just thought you were like his little brother. He told me he wasnt gay. Not that I care, obviously, and he didn't tell me. I'm hurt that he didn't, but I'm even more hurt that my own little brother didn't tell me what was going on with my best friend."

He shook his head as tears rolled down his face. "I wish you two would have told me! I wish I could have told him I accepted him! Do you know what it feels like to not be able to speak to someone, to know it was too late?"

(Third person POV from now on)

Ashton thought what he heard was wrong. Hell, he prayed what he heard was wrong. His eyes began to fill with tears of panic.

"Please.." He began begging. "D-Dont say..."

Kai felt like his whole life he had the past few years went to flames. He didn't know how he could fix any of it. He didn't want to tell Ashton. He knew the boy would crack.

Ashton stared at Kai, wanting an answer. Hopefully one that would calm him down. He really hoped that what he thought wasnt true.

"Ashton.." Kai whispered. "Luke, he—" Kai hesitated, but knew he should tell Ashton. "He o—overdosed two nights ago. His mum found him that morning, and it — it was too late."

Ashton stood there stunned for a minute. He felt himself slowly falling to the ground. He felt his whole body desperately pleading for it to be a joke. However, when he saw Kai with his head in his hands, he knew it wasn't.

He was silent for a few minutes.

Kai thought Ashton had left, but was faced with reality as he heard his little brother let out a scream of pain. He turned and saw Ashton holding his chest as he let out cries and screams in despair.

Ashton felt arms wrap around him but he didn't care. They weren't Luke's arms. He would never feel Luke's arms around him again. He started sobbing and screaming as tears flooded his eyes.

He sat there, sadness completely taking over his entire body. Was Luke really gone? He started punching Kai's bed as he screamed in pain.

His heart hurt more than he even thought it could. He couldn't breath. He couldn't see straight. He couldn't stop crying.

He began screaming Luke's name as if Luke would pop out and exclaim that they were joking. But deep inside, Ashton knew it wasn't going to happen.

Ashton stayed on the floor, wrapped in his brothers embrace, screaming and sobbing for four days. Each night, he had nightmares about Luke. Each ending in screaming for Luke and crying when reality hit him.

He felt like life was hitting him in his chest for fun. He felt like God wanted to punish him for being gay.

He felt like nothing even mattered.

Which is how he ended in the car, driving to their place. The place they went to together to escape both of their problems. The place where Ashton felt welcome. The place he realized that he loved Luke. The place he came to run to. The place where Luke would be.

And that's the only place Ashton wanted to be.