Brothers Best Friend » Lashton

Chapter Eleven

To say Ashton was depressed, it was an understatement. He felt like everything he had ever been sure of had been ripped away from him. Luke's funeral was today and Ashton felt like he was suffocating.

Suffocating in the sadness that had become him. His mum had flew out to be there for him so he would have some support. Michael and Calum were there for him, constantly. They only imagined the pain it put Ashton through.

Ashton blamed himself.

If he would have got to Luke sooner, he would still be here. If he would have told him in front of his girlfriend. If, a bunch of ifs. If he would have done this, if he would have done that. But the point was, he didn't. What ifs were pointless at this point because Ashton couldn't turn back the hands of time.

So, while Ashton was getting ready, he sat down and wrote a letter. He wrote one for Calum, one for Michael, one for his mum, one for his two siblings in England, one for Kai. He just wrote until he heard the beep of a car from outside, indicating that Michael and Calum were here. Ashton completely felt his heart drop.

This was real, this was happening.

He rubbed his eyes as they began watering up again. He had to be strong.

He grabbed the envelopes and made his way to the car, hiding them in the backseat. He just sat back and none of them spoke. They all knew it was best to be quiet.

Ashton sat there staring out of the windows as tears streamed down his face. He was so tired of feeling this way.

They finally arrived and went inside to give Ashton some time alone. Ashton was completely broken inside. He just felt lost without Luke. So he sat Kai's envelope in Kai's front seat, and his mums in the passenger side, knowing them two rode together.

Ashton walked to the beat up truck Luke owned. He tried to hold it in as he made his way inside the funeral home. He had to speak because no one knew Luke like Ashton did.

When it came time for Ashton speech, Ashton already felt sick to his stomach but continued anyways. "Hello. Most of you don't know me but I was Lukes friend. Well, boyfriend." Most of the people gasped a bit but Lukes mother just gave him a reassuring nod.

"Anyway, I knew Luke in a different way then all of you. I knew the charming, the funny, and the romantic Luke. The Luke that no one got to know but me. I loved Luke, with everything in me. I just realized it too late. Luke was the only person I could go to without them asking if I needed to go to my therapist." Ashton tried to laugh, but he couldn't. He felt sick just at the thought of laughing.

"Luke kept everyone around him happy. He made everyone smile. He was just a happy person. Im not stupid. I know he had times where he was sad, but he didn't want to be seen as sad, he wanted to be known as that happy kid who always brightened others day." Ashton swallowed his sadness.

"I-I'm sorry... I.. I just can't." Ashton ran off stage and straight out of the funeral home. He knew he shouldn't have been selfish, cause others are hurting too. He just couldn't have all those people staring at him. He saw so much sadness in their eyes but none that showed as much sadness as Ashton's.

He was so sad. He thought, dreamed, breathed, and lived sadness. He didn't think nothing would fix it.

Ashton couldn't take it anymore, he walked up to Luke's truck, getting into it and started it up. Luke's mother gave it to Ashton for a memory.

Ashton drove out of the parking lot and made his way to the clearing. He had to go there. He needed Luke.

So Ashton drove for hours, ignoring all the phone calls he received, and all the messages. Ashton didn't want them to stop him. He needed to do this. He needed Luke.

When he got there, he laid the blanket out. The blanket that smelled like Luke.

"Luke!" Ashton screamed as he looked down at his soaking wet body. Luke threw his head back, cackling. He looked so beautiful in that moment, it was something Ashton wouldn't forget.

Luke's laughter died down and he wrapped a blanket around Ashton. "Sorry for that." Luke was holding back his laughter as he wrapped Ashton into a warm blanket.

Ashton glared playfully but could never stay mad at Luke. Especially when Luke looked absolutely beautiful in this lighting.

Ashton sighed happily as he saw the tall blonde chasing after the geese. He laughed a little at how sad the blonde was that the animals ran from him, but fondness was in his eyes.

Ashton loved Luke. There was no denying it. He would never get over this. So, staring out into the setting sun, Ashton pulled out the bottle of pills.

Tears filled Ashton eyes as he swallowed a handful. He knew he had to take more for it to effect, but he just stared at the setting sun as he heard a voice behind him.

"Why?"

Ashton's heart began beating rapidly. He turned and saw Luke leaning against the old truck. A smile formed on Ashton's face as he ran over, embracing the blonde into his arms.

"Fuck, I've missed you." Luke whispered and he held the boy tight in his arms. Ashton looked up and tears brimmed his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I just can't be without you."

Luke went to open his mouth to argue, but shut it quickly. He knew Ashton was right.

"Baby. Maybe it feels like that now, but are you sure you want this? I mean, don't get me wrong, I want you with me, but are you sure?"

Luke's question floated in Ashton's mind.

"Yes, Luke, I want this. I finally can see you again. After all this time, I see you. I want this. I want it more than anything else." Ashton felt a tear fall down his cheek and smiled as Luke wiped it away.

Ashton felt home as he and Luke walked over to the edge of the clearing. Rocks were below. It was a clean shot. If Ashton jumped, the hit would instantly kill him.

He looked at it nervously, and Luke noticed. "It's a clean fall. Instant death, I promise. We'll finally be together again and I'll be right here baby. We can do it together. On the count of three."

Ashton heard yelling as he looked behind him before looking at Ashton nervously. He didn't want anyone to stop him.

Luke seemed to notice and began counting. "One."

The voices began getting closer and he noticed it was his mum and Kai.

"Two."

Then he heard Michael and Calums voice, making him even more nervous.

"Three." Luke said before looking down at Ashton. "Ready?"

Ashton looked back and saw them running over to him. He looked back up at Luke and nodded. "I'll always be ready to be with you."

And with that, he jumped.