1-800-273-8255 : suicide hotline | p.j.

24

warning: this chapter contains some suicidal thoughts, if you do not feel comfortable reading it, please do not read. reader discretion is advised.

"please help me."

-

PARK JIMIN

january 12, 2005

taehyung looked at me with somber eyes, only to see his eyes begin to let out tears.

"of course i'll help you, that's what i'm doing now," he whispered and began to kneel down slightly to put his hands on my torso.

"no, that's not the kind of help i am thinking of," i whispered and i could see my pale hand begin to tremble in all directions.

he began to support me and one of his hands was helping my legs get into balance so that i was able to stand up. my knees were still bent but taehyung has his arm around my shoulder, supporting me just like a sober man supporting a drunk man. taehyung began to take slow steps and i stumbled upon every one i took. he even had to lower his arm around my waist so that my body could move.

"taehyung, please don't do this," i breathed out and he, of course, didn't listen and kept supporting my body with his small arms. one of his arms finally had the span that allowed his fingertips to touch the door and finally lead us to the hallways. he took a step and tried to get me to move but this time i didn't budge at all.

taehyung glared at me, still keeping his arm around my waist so that i wouldn't lose the balance that i had only because of him.

"taehyung, i really don't want to live. what i want to ask from you is to please help me die," i whimpered, trying to step back. that didn't succeed at all and i only ended up tripping over my feet. taehyung caught my body with his two arms, this time hugging me tightly before my entire body reached the tile floor and allowed me to collapse.

i didn't want him to keep on saving me or giving me these chances.

why can't he see that i don't want to live anymore?

"stop it," i said stubbornly, trying to escape the tight embrace that he had me in. nothing would work at all and the only thing that happened was that he forcefully brought my body up, but the way he did it was still gentle so that i wouldn't feel the tension in my muscles.

"sorry jimin, i know i promised myself that i'd give you everything you wanted since i'm your friend, but this isn't something that i can do," he whispered out and this time my body was in front as he held my torso with both arms from behind, it was like a backhug that was necessary or else i would collapse and get major blood loss.

his feet kept taking steps forward that forced my legs to make the movement, and i hated myself for letting me be so vulnerable and allowing taehyung to control every single little thing.

even my own steps that i didn't want to take.

his palm reached out to push against the silver metal bar that allowed the bathroom to be opened and access to the hallways. as the door opened, taehyung kept his palm there and took many steps that made me trip a couple of times.

however, i could never fall because he was always there behind me, literally, to catch my fall.

both of us were now at the outside and there was a mob of teachers running around the hallways. it was absolute chaos: the kids were screaming and running around the hallways, the teachers pulling their hair out because they couldn't find what they were looking for, and things were being thrown all around and all out of order.