Autumn (CharDawn Fanfic)

Autumn 16

"We got married and you did the same thing. Nakabuntis ka rin. Until now I always felt that I am not enough."  She thought and her mind set on the fire of madness again.

"Rach, our conversation last night... I'm really sorry. Hindi... Hindi sa pinagbibintangan kita that you killed her, but the police officer once said to me that the car accident is planned out." He caressed his neck.

Rachel look in his eyes teary eyed.

"And you believe that?" It's too painful for her that Richard believes the police accusation based on their findings.

"No....no. Look at me Rach, look at me." He cupped her cheeks while Rachel's head looked downwards.

"Eh yun yung dating ng sinasabi mo at ng ginawa mo sa akin noon." Still looking down, tears streaming down to her cheeks.

"Pinakita sa'kin lahat ng evidences. And... And I'm sorry I believe on that." He gathered him on his arms.

Rachel cried so much, after losing her child, she loss Richard afterwards as he believe that she killed Selina. It's too painful for her to be accused of the person who she loves the most. That's why she flew on US in able to start a new life, even her surname there isn't Montenegro, it's still her maiden name.

"Sa lahat ng taong nagsabi sakin nyan, sayo lang ako nasaktan. Kasi, you supposed to be on my side but no, you believed them at mas pinili mong mabuhay kasama ang anak nyo ni Selina. Ganon mo ba talaga sya kamahal? Sabay kayong nawala sakin ng anak ko... At sa tingin mo ganon kadali sakin yon?" She intently looked into his eyes.

He obviously saw how sad she is because of what he did. It's true, he already forgot the responsibility he had on his wife when that accident happened and focuses himself with their child of Selina. He forgot, that she's grieving also in their supposedly child. And he didn't even think that their child of Rachel has been dead.

"Rachel, sobrang dami kong pagkukulang sa'yo. Sa inyo ng anak natin... I'm sorry, kung inisip ko na masama kang tao. If I believe them... But now Rach, listen to me okay? I believe in you, I trust you so much and our child, I'm sorry Rachel I wasn't there... I wasn't there when you needed me the most, I'm sorry if I gave you up..." His thoughts are scattered and broken. He has no strength anymore. He feels the grieving of Rachel's being all over the garden. The ambiance is too rhythmic melancholy.

Seeing her like this makes his plan to go away 'again' more painful and hard.

"You've gone through a lot, Rachel. As much as I wanted to stay with you, this isn't 'again' the right time. I will fix everything soon, my Love. Wait for me."

This is the main reason why she didn't want to tell Richard what's the whole truth because he believed on the statement of the paid policemen of Simon.

Rachel can't also figured it out, why did Simon planted a bomb inside Selina's car, the fact that Simon is a pet of Selina. She didn't just get it, but the private inverstigator told her and gave her the true evidences through pictures that the jerk policemen hid. "You're too vicious, Simon. Dinamay mo pa ako at ang anak ko. I'll surely know your true agenda." She just shrugged of the thought and started wiping her tears.

"Tapos na yun, Richard. Hindi na natin maibabalik pa." She said while staring on the ground.

Richard, sighed heavily.

"Mahal kita, Rachel. I don't want to lose you again." Richard spilled with sincerity.

"Magulo Richard. Sobrang gulo. That's why staying here is just the option that I have. You didn't know what's I've been through to somehow move on in my life."

"Magulo ang nakaraan, Rachel. But we can just forget everything on the past and finally move on. "

She didn't know what's 'move on' he's referring to.

"No. Hindi tayo makakapag umpisa ng bagong buhay if that past always peaked in. Hangga't hindi ko nalalaman ang dapat kong malaman." She's so confused right now, as if there's something hindered her to give him another chance. But she's so sure that she still love him. But not now. And even he told her that he loves her, he didn't ask for a chance by the way.

He just shocked on what she said, 'So, you are willing to come back right after everything is fix?' He wanted to ask but of course he don't want to makes Rachel has a false hope because he still can't figured it out how to fix everything in just a snap. 

"Rachel, tama ka. Dapat muna nating ayusin ang nakaraan. Pero ano pa ba ang dapat mong malaman?" He held her shoulder and made her front him.

"Hindi mo na muna dapat malaman kung anong nasa isip ko, Richard. Ayokong maguluhan ka lang din." She assured him.

"Kahit maguluhan ako, Rachel ayos lang dahil mas naguguluhan ako ngayon dahil hindi ko alam anong nasa isip mo." He caressed her hair and kiss her forehead.

"Bumalik ka na muna sa Pilipinas." She pleaded.

'What? Tinataboy nya na naman ako. Masakit pero hindi ba mas maayos na rin ito dahil hindi ko rin naman sya maaaring balikan... Sa ngayon. Pero, si William. I don't know his plans.'

"Pero bakit? Hindi ako papayag na iwanan ka dito." William is in the US, and he just can't let William interfere again.

"Nakaya natin Richard... Nakaya natin. Walong taon nating nakayang iwan ang isa't-isa." She reminded him.

'Tama ka.'

But everything he's spilling out not comes from his mind but from what's his heart told him to say.

"But everything's different now, Rachel. I don't hid something from you and I hope you too." He's heart ached for what's Rachel wanted but isn't a great chance for him to let go again for a while? Until everything's fix on.

"Kung may nililihim man ako sa'yo ay yun ang dalawang bagay lang na hindi mo pa dapat malaman ngayon. Hindi ka pwedeng manatili dito, the branch of Guidotti Imports in the Philippines needs you. Parang awa mo na Richard, umuwi ka na. They need you there." Even though, she already wanted to give in, here she is sending him away, "this is for your own good, Richard."

"They need me there, but I need you here." Putting his hand on his chest.

'Richard, you're just making everything hard for the both of you.' His conscience blew him up.

"Richard, I already told you please, listen to me." She pleaded because she can't just give in because there's a lot to fix on.

"Rachel, always remember how much I love you that's why even for you, it's just my first time to follow what you wanted. " Tears escaped in his eyes and he started to sob.

'Rachel, this wasn't my plan.'

Even Richard causes her too much pain, she just can't looked at him in this estate. She really wanted to tell him that she love him so much as much as he loves her, but then again, for Rachel this isn't the right time.

She remains silent.

"Rachel, please tell me that you still love me. Yun lang ang panghahawakan ko." He's still crying while saying these words.

She can see how much he's yearning.

Not now, but soon.

Is it possible for them to come back on each other's arms, if both of them are still have to figured out everything on the past?

Will they still have the chance to start again?

What start specifically?

Beginning without each other?

But a chance of ending together?

Or a beginning with each other?

But a definite chance of ending apart for a lifetime?