Nobody Does It Better

Maaldorian Prison Blues

Author's note-
In which I attempt to course-correct the single most OOC thing done by any character at any time in Season 2, Winn's attitude to Lena in 2x08.

As the two guards disappeared from earshot, Winn became much more acutely aware of how cold he was, and hugged his chest for dear life; sliding down the wall, until he was sat, curled up, on the floor.

Lena's blanket came flying toward him at speed; and once he'd recovered from the unexpected impact, wrapped it around himself as tightly as he could. This was a disaster. He'd been so stupid. He'd thought it would be okay, five minutes on an alien world, taking precautions... how wrong could it really go?

Very wrong, it had turned out.

And so he'd been kidnapped, and electrocuted; he was muddy from his fall through the portal; his hands and his face were freezing cold from the snow; he had web from what he now understood to be Thanagarian Snare-Beast - the same creature now sat in the guard's station, snaffling down some kind of meal - covering his wrists; and worse, droppings covering his boots. He was a mess.

Lena stood, bolt upright, arms folded. Despite everything, she still looked like she'd stepped straight off of a DEO recruitment poster. If they had existed.

"So, what's the plan?" she asked. At that exact moment, Winn's thirty-five minute warning alarm went off, and he moved quickly, in a single motion, to silence it, before pulling the blanket more tightly around him.

"We wait," he said, closing his mouth before his teeth could start to chatter.

"So there's no plan," Lena said; not angry, but certainly nowhere in the realm of happy.

"No, there's a plan," Winn said, trying to believe it himself, even though he was the one that created it, "It involves waiting."

"Winn, the DEO doesn't know where we are, they don't know how to find us, and we're about to get sold to whatever slave trader they can get hold of that happens to speak English," she said, pacing to keep warm, as much as she could, "We need to leave before that happens. Or before one of us needs the bathroom."

Winn looked around the cell. There was the door, and a cot, and barely room for anything else; nothing resembling a bucket, and certainly nothing resembling privacy - save the blanket, and he was not going to be giving that up right now. Still, it was hard not to share her sense of urgency.

"Well, Ms. Luthor, what would you suggest-"

"The armoury." Lena's tone was cold and calm. This was her I-Have-A-Plan voice. Winn didn't know whether to be elated or terrified.

"The armoury?" he asked, tentatively.

"When we were walking through the hall with the... spider, I saw a room: big, heavy doors; lots of guns inside. I think it's the armoury."

She took a single stride over to the gate, looking outward; taking a small step back when she saw the Snare-beast at the desk.

"We get out of this cell, we make our way there. Then we bar the door, and stay there for as long as we can, while we load up on guns. The guards come to us, we shoot our way out of the bottleneck; then we run, out of the compound, down the hill, and toward the portal. It's very risky; but between my training, and yours, we should be able to make it."

Winn had to admit: it sounded pretty good. Incredibly dangerous, but workable.

"Okay," he said, deliberately, "There's just one small problem."

"We can't get out of this cell," she said, not a hint of doubt in her voice.

"Well, no, getting out of the cell will be very inconvenient, but that's not the problem," he said.