Deepest desires {DISCONTINUED}

• Chapter 3 • Ethereal •

The heel of my boots clattered along the pebbles of the cobbled path, my breath painted clouds of white in the crisp autumn air. My hands in my pockets, hair tangled and bundled under my hat.
My ever wandering mind brings me back to a time, from long ago. Much too long for anyone to remember, for anyone to care. I see myself armoured, sword by my side, walking amongst the great gods, into battle after battle, metal clashing against more metal, I remember the adrenaline; the fire in my eyes, the drive to protect, I see the fall of Olympus and me falling with it, only I am actually falling.

*THUD*
I slip and fall in the car park, a rogue jogger helps me up, I thank him and walk to my car. Memories of Olympus have been haunting me lately, and I just don't know why, why I can't let it go, just move on, forget.

I put the key in the lock and open the door to my apartment, a note is on the table. "Adie! I'm home!" But no answer, I took off my coat and hung it up, it was still slightly damp from my fall earlier. I open the note,

"Sorry Auri, had to rush out, was running late for class, won't be home till late, order a takeaway and don't worry about waiting for me, I'll text you later, much love -Adie xx"

I sigh in relief, I didn't want the hassle later of explaining where I had been or why I had returned so late. I don't like worrying her, she's gentle and innocent, and I don't think I could ever do anything to hurt her. Though I'm not sure why, feelings don't often affect me, maybe it's because she sees me more than I am. Maybe it's because I'm weak. Maybe I just want love where I can find it.

I need to go meet the person on the phone, I gear up, knives in my boots, check, gun in my holster, check, hands wrapped, check, katana, check. I need to hide my katana with my jacket, I walk to my wardrobe and slide it open, nope not there, "dammit Adie!" I make my way across the hall into Adie's room, in a rage, I always tell her to ask before she takes anything from me, I can't risk her finding out about me, privacy is the only thing I have left, and I hold it sacred. It is not something I throw around. I open the door to her room, I'm about to storm towards her wardrobe when I notice a book on the floor, it's open, almost inviting me to read the words inscribed on the pages, to read the ink that has been tattooed onto the bare parchment pages. I pick it up off the floor, it's on the first page.

"Aurelia Morningstar, my new roommate. AAHH Diary isn't this exciting!"

I nearly drop the book, it's a diary I can't do that, I can't, it's her private book, I can't do that to her. But it has my name in it, I'm in this book... what if she knows about me?! I need to know but I won't read any further than what is in my limits, I know my boundaries.

"June 4th
You know Diary, she seems a little less human than the rest of us. Not in a bad way! Oh no that's terrible, but there is something about her that stands out like a diamond in a cluster of coals. She's been quite reserved thus far, I don't want to scare her away by my outwardly nature, I'll give her some time.

August 17th
I saw her win wars, I saw her lead battles, I saw her crush mountains, I saw her defeat thousands, in my dreams I see her as a warrior, this girl stands out. But there was something about her that stood out even more. Not yet have I seen that girl smile. I want to change that (or try to at least)

September 8th
Everything seems to be going well, we are making progress, conversations turned into banter, which at first I found more shocking than offending, awkward handshakes turned into hugs, (though she still resists affection), two people who were once strangers turned into sisters. And this girl, who I thought was unable to smile, smiled every damn day! And may I just add HOW BREATHTAKINGLY BEAUTIFUL it was! Her smile was like bright stars in a dark winter sky, her smile was like a vibrant sunset, her smile was the like brilliant moonlight guiding sailors, her smile was what made getting to know her worthwhile.
October 31st
Yay! It's Halloween, so many sweets have been consumed and I am dreading when I have a sugar crash, as I'm writing this Auri is passed out in a chocolate coma on the sofa, you've got to love that girl, she's absolutely insane! You know the more I've gotten to know Aurelia, the more normal she seemed, not in a dull way, but in a way where she doesn't feel like an outsider to me anymore, she feels like a part of me. I think it's transferred into my dreams as well, she's lost most of her wars, she doesn't crush mountains like before, but without a doubt she looks happier than before, I have come to a conclusion that she wasn't a girl who couldn't smile, she was simply a girl who had forgotten how to.
Oh she is still extraordinary, but her battles are different this time round, I see her with such emotion over issues that we have caused, and I think that maybe she's a little more human than all of us."

I close the book, my heart feels full, with an emotion I haven't felt in a long time. Hope. A mixture of confusion and hope fuel my body, a warmth. So tender is she, that I can't think about hurting her. Why am I feeling these emotions? This isn't normal...

*BEEP*
My phone brings me out of my trance, my jacket is on her chair, I grab the jacket and put it on, I steadily compose myself and head out of the door, I hurry down the stairs to my car, I get in and start driving, I smile, because this time my battles are different. Let's go and crush these mountains.