Cinder

27 - Entwined

Four's Logbook

I told myself I'd never write another of these- I didn't think I'd ever have the chance. But, this war has made liars of us all.

Barker's set a limit of twelve hours from now for us to finish preparations. That's twelve hours of waiting until the call goes out to the majority of the fleet in sub-orbit, and we evacuate Atania. Twelve hours until we move on Regis and decide the fate of the human race once and for all. Twelve hours to enjoy what could be my last night alive.

And yet ... I'm not afraid of dying.

It's odd- I've been in plenty of situations where it's been do-or-die. But it's always been because the plan was compromised, or something changed, whatever. Now, the plan is actually nothing more than a suicide mission. Nobody expects to get out of this one alive.

But I'm okay with that.

For once, it's nice to have an sense of closure. There's no worrying about whether or not I'm going to see the sunrise tomorrow- either we pull this off by the skin of our teeth, or we die trying. It's odd to think that, despite the complexity of everything that's led up to this point, it's all come down to such a simple end.

There's not much else to say- but there's some. If I die tomorrow, I just want to leave one last remnant of me behind. Something for others to look back on, assuming we don't fail. It's hard to put everything down into words, but I'll try.

I'm appreciative of the life I've been given, now more than ever. I know that sounds odd, given that we're facing perhaps the greatest threat that we've ever faced as a species and could all be dead tomorrow. But I think that it took exactly that for me to see all the good that's happened to me rather than the bad.

I never would have thought I'd have a purpose in life. I was nothing more than a vengeful kid taking out his rage on the world. Whatever dreams I'd had were lost in the years I spent with the IMC, drifting aimlessly through fight after fight until I finally wound up stranded on Nedar and thought, 'This is it. This is how the story of my life ends.'

But I was wrong; it wasn't the end, it was a new beginning. Every tie to my former life was cut, but what I gained was worth so much more. I found true friends among Vale and Elizabeth, friends whose loyalty is so absolute that I can never hope to repay it. I found a new meaning to my life in protecting those who couldn't protect themselves, despite the tolls it took on my own mind and body.

And then there's Kay.

In her, I found a companion whom I'd gladly spend the rest of my life with. As the situation stands, however, I highly doubt that we'll be given any such opportunity. So instead, I've been forced to commemorate my time with her however I can, hence this last little log of mine. If either of us comes back without the other, I don't want what I had with her to be forgotten.

Now, I'm going to go make some last few memories with them before we head out. If things go south, I just wanted a record for all to see just how much they meant to me. I used to think that it was the Codex that made me special. That being the Inferno was what I was put here for, that it was what defined my destiny. But I've come to realize how mistaken I was.

It was them who made me special. It was them who made my life worth it. And despite how different we are now, despite all the pain that we've gone through ... I wouldn't change a thing so long as it meant we were together.

This is Tobias Four, signing off.

-X-

The mood had quickly shifted from screaming defiance to a quiet somberness after Tobias had given his speech to the citizens of the frontier. The Embers had hope that his way with words would rally all of humanity to the fight, but they also had to prepare for the possibility that it would only be the few thousand of them against the entirety of what was left of New Humanity. The release of any deployed Titans and Pilots from the government's service had been welcome news, but they weren't fools enough to think that there wouldn't be massive numbers of drones to face; spectres, stalkers, and reapers to name a few.