If You | Jensoo

Ch 33. The Last.

1 year Later
•Jisoo•

The sun flowed through the white curtains of the room. A light airy tropical breeze accompanying the sound of the waves in the distance.

Jisoo was staring at the girl in her arms. The one who had captured her heart the moment she started to talk to her. Only covers laid between them as Jisoo trailed her fingers up and down her wife's arm.

It was the last day of their honeymoon, laying in the bed of a hotel resort, on the coast of Hawaii. They wanted to spend it just being together without any distractions.

"I love you." Jisoo whispers kissing the top of her head.

She could feel Jennie smile against her chest, before she shifted off of it so that she could see Jisoo'sface.

"How many were there before me?" Jennie says quietly, holding Jisoo's hand in hers.

"What do you mean?"

"Like, How many girls did you love before me?"

"Love?" Jisoo questions as she thinks back. "Five." She says confidently. "I loved five people before you."

Jennie smiles slightly. "What were their names?"

"Who, What, When, Where, Why." Jisoo answers.

"Can you tell me about them?" Jennie asks staring at their clasped hands, their rings sparkling off the light of the room.

Jisoo smiled at her wife, before thinking back.

"Who I loved, was a girl from college. I wasn't exactly close to her but, with some superficial facts, and a few interactions over the semester, you know like most people fantasizing over a girl they barely even know. I filled in the blanks like a fairy tale author." Jisoo says recalling the memory. "Who she became in my head was probably more than the reality. She was a third year, sorority girl, and I was the infatuated freshman. But the several times we got to spend together outside of class, it really allowed me to see she also had a good heart, and a bright spirit. The only problem was, so did Just about every other guy." She chuckles. "And while she turned me down nicely, I swear, there were times when it seemed like the cliché sorority girl may have felt something for the typical awkward freshman." Jisoo says.

"What I loved, was an old friend. But she was much more than just a friend. We met early in college and kept in touch through the years after. We saw eachother grow and change, and through multiple relationships. I saw her different boyfriends, or girlfriends, come and go. She was also there for every girlfriend and break up of mine. Personality, humour, taste...it was all there, her and I were almost perfect. The only thing that wasn't perfect was our timing. We were never single at the same time, and what we loved about eachother was never enough to leave who we were with. This is something we eventually had to face and accept, and we had to leave behind what we had."

Jennie was listening intently to Jisoo as her thumb stroked over her soft hand.

"When I loved, was my first girlfriend in high school. It's a bit unfair because she embodies a combination of both love and youth. The feeling of young love is unique and impossible to replace or replicate, because we can only be that age once. High school was a time of innocence, discovery and adventure. We shared these three elements together in things like our first kiss, late night sneaking out, and drive in movies, all of which now have become, a nostalgic love. Preserved in a time that neither of us can touch. But no was there. Even if we were just kids, there's not a doubt in my mind that when we were there, we were in love." Jisoo smiles softly as she stares out the open balcony doors, watching the waves of the ocean retreat.

"Where I loved, was the girl I met in Seoul. I never intended to stay there that long, it was just a six month internship after graduating high school. But it all changed when I met her. Soon a year had passed, and then some how another year after that. I couldn't leave the city...and I couldn't leave her. Maybe it was my desire to be on my own, or prove something to everyone back at home, but she helped me accomplish it over there. With a relationship reflective of the city that we were in. A new energy, and new experiences that really pushed me to mature more than anyone, or anywhere else. When people ask what city I love the most, I say...Seoul. The city where I loved the most."

Jisoo swallowed thickly as she recalled the final girl. "Why I loved, was a close friend of mine who passed away. She told me after she was diagnosed that death is not what saddened her the most. But the fact that she had never really felt that she had fallen in love. She wouldn't get to have those emotions, good and bad, of being hurt and of being held." Jisoo whispers, and Jennie gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "After she passed, those were the ones that stuck with me the most. Teaching me that one of the greatest gifts we have of being alive is the ability to give, receive, and even lose love. There's so many out there like her, who's lives will never encounter those experiences. What a waste, if we don't strive to love in our lives. She made me see the reason why, why waste this life not loving..."

Jennie let out a breath and smiled softly at Jisoo. "I understand now."

Jisoo turned onto her side to face her. "You are the sixth." She says.

"The sixth. So which one am I then?" She smiles.

"You are none of them..." Jisoo says taking in a deep breath. "Because you are all of them." She says looking deeply into her eyes, she rests her hand on Jennie's cheek and strokes it softly with her thumb. "You are Who I love. The girl on the pedestal, the fantasy, the make belief things that are actually true. You are What I love. The depth, the inside jokes, the best friend. You are When I love. A new history is being started with you. We are the young lovers our older selves will someday reminisce about. You are Where I love, because I'd go anywhere just to be with you. You are Why I love. Because before you, I never truly understood what I was looking for. And now that we've found eachother you have given my past and my future meaning." Jisoo says.

"You are the sixth. You are The Last."