Together (Larry Stylinson) ✅

The Ride Home

Harry's Point of View

"Hey, I know you told me to leave, but I was wondering if you needed a ride home," I said. Lou and I were in the hospital lobby now, and he was wearing jeans and a T-shirt with a jacket over it. I had brought him his clothes from the apartment, which he said I didn't have to do. But of course I did. How else would he get home in a hospital gown?

"I can call an Uber," Lou said, looking at his feet. I shook my head. He was really being ridiculous. "Louis, it's like a 30 minute ride. It's gonna be 20 bucks at least. Just let me drive you, it's on the way," I insisted.

He looked so cute in his puffy black down jacket. I remember helping him pick it out ages ago. It was so expensive, but I remember telling him it would last for a long time. And it did. It was a shame it was too big on him now.

Louis furrowed his brow and looked at me with reluctant eyes. He was still pale and weak. Even with a week of getting proper nutrients under his belt, he still had a long way to go. It was fucked up that I sort of felt jealous of him. He was in a place where he weighed so little he needed to gain weight... I, if anything, needed to lose it.

But I knew that was just my fucked up thoughts talking. Louis was sick and I shouldn't have been jealous of that. I locked eyes with him, mouthing "please" and waited for his response.

"Fine," he grumbled. "But it's just a ride. No coming inside or anything." I nodded quickly. "Of course!" I said, though I was sort of disappointed. I walked to the exit, which I had learned all too well during my constant visits throughout the week and Louis followed behind me, struggling to keep up with my stride.

"Sorry, mate," I said with a laugh. This is a problem we constantly had when we were dating. I always walked way too fast for his short little legs.

"It's fine. I just haven't walked in like eight days," he said sassily. My face reddened and I began to slow down, realizing he was right. I should have been more cautious.

With my adapted pace, we began to walk to the parking lot, which was nearly dark now. It was 5pm and the sun was just setting. Classic winter in New York.

I didn't use my car often in the city, as public transport was much quicker and easier. But the hospital Louis was staying in was basically on the border of Manhattan and Long Island it required some highway driving to get there.

When I spotted my car, a black Hylander, I walked towards it and Louis followed after me, opening the door and hopping into the passenger seat.

This was a new car, one I had bought in California, so he hadn't been in it. I had slept with a few girls in this car, and with Lou next to me, I was starting to feel guilty as I reimagined the dirty things that have gone on in that very passenger seat.

"Music?" I asked, starting the ignition. Louis shrugged. I decided to turn on Ed Sheeran, as I knew Lou liked him. I did too. We used to sing along and dance to his music in the apartment.

When the song came on, I watched as Louis grimaced, placing a hand over his head. Maybe the artist choice wasn't such a good idea — too many memories. I went to change it, but felt Louis swat my hand away.

"Leave it," he groaned. "The damage is done." I frowned. I didn't like to think of my song choice as damage. I was trying to be sensitive and understanding with Louis because of how tough of a time he was having, but his resistance to me was starting to become really upsetting.

Maybe I should just let go, just leave him to fight for himself. That's what he's repeatedly told me he wanted anyways. I don't know why I was sticking around. Well I do. It's because I still have feelings for him— in fact, over the past few days I've thought about moving back to New York permanently for him. But if he didn't want me in his life, I couldn't force it.

"So Kylie Jenner had a baby," I said, changing the subject. I was hoping basic celebrity drama would help break the ice. Louis had worked for a celebrity magazine a few years ago and still kept up with the trends. But he just shrugged and muttered "really?" Before sinking deeper into his seat.

The rest of the time I spent driving in silence. It didn't help that we were in bad traffic and that it was going to take closer to 50 minutes than 30. I ended up changing the music anyways, halfway through, putting on some Post Malone to change things up. I didn't want to hear anything romantic right now.

Lou was playing on his phone the whole time, avoiding me. I don't even know who he was texting, but he seemed to be texting pretty quickly.

"Who are you texting?" I asked, trying not to be too noisy. Louis shook his head. "I'm not. I'm writing," he said shortly. I didn't question it. Louis has refused to write the entire time he was in the hospital, so it was great that he was finally getting back to it now.

"Oh. That's great!" I said with a smile, rubbing my thumbs on the steering wheel as I inched towards the car in front of me. "Yeah I mean I'm just emailing a company I want to work for. It's a pitch for a magazine," he said, not looking up from his phone.

I nodded. Of course. Of course Louis couldn't just accept the offer and work at my company. Of course he was too proud — or maybe he just hated me too much. Here I was just trying to help him, but like with everything else in his life, he didn't want it.

"Louis. Honestly, if you don't want the job then don't take it. But if it's about me — just know that if you work at my company we wouldn't be anywhere near each other. The  communications office is in a totally different floor," I explained.

Louis shook his head. "It's the principal Harry. It's not you," he said. But I could tell there was a deeper reason. And that it certainly had everything to do with me.

"Honestly, Lou. I just... I'm just trying to help you," I said, turning towards him. He was still looking at his phone, but his eyes were wet. I was clearly upsetting him.

"Why? Because you're guilty for leaving me?" He asked bitterly, shooting me a dirty look.

"No. I just... you're special to me. I care about you and I want to make sure you're okay, Louis. You don't have to accept my help, but it's here if you need it," I said. I was getting pretty emotional now too and I wiped my nose, trying my best to hold back tears.

"You're a fucking liar Harry. You left
Me. You fucking left me and never called!" Louis snapped. There it was. Of course.

"I'm sorry, Louis. I know. I know I fucked up... I know it was selfish and —" I started to explain, but he didn't let me finish.

"And for what? You're back in New York now after all that heartbreak! It was all for nothing," he growled. His eyes were burning into me now, and I wanted to simultaneously kiss him and slap him.

"I'm sorry. I'm fucking sorry that I fucked up everything great we had going. And In the end they transferred me back to NY. I know I was an idiot for leaving. I know," I replied, nearly crying. I gripped the steering wheel tightly,
My fingers turning white.

Louis looked at me, his blue eyes wide. He seemed startled, and didn't have a response for me. "Yeah, you were," he said quietly. I nodded, still sniffling. "I know. And there's no chance of ever fixing things with you. You made that clear," I replied.

Louis' face quickly turned from one of shock to one of anger, his brows creasing together. "You think you can just come back after two years and pick up where we left off? You think I was just here waiting for you?!! Fuck off," he said, laughing dryly as he cursed.

"No. I didn't think that at all. But when I see you — I can't resist," I said. I instantly regretted admitting that to him, as it would only upset him more. Why am I always such an inarticulate loser?

"Harry you're fucked up," Louis said, crossing his arms over his chest. His puffy jacket crinkled as he tensed his shoulders and I had half a mind to kiss him on the forehead. I loved pouty Lou, even if he was so damn mean to me.

"I know," I replied. "I know." And we continued to drive in silence, Lou texting and me squeezing the steering wheel harder than I should have. Every now and then I would peak over at Lou's collar bones which were peeking out of the top of his jacket, pretending I wasn't jealous. Pretending I wasn't enticed by them.

I really was fucked up.