fifteen letters [kth ff.]

l e t t e r t h r e e

january 10, 2018

dear kim taehyung,

i haven't written in 2 days to you! i doubt you're reading these, so i might stop sending. i mean, you're busy with the idol life. so it currently feels like i'm talking to a blank white sheet of lined paper. but hey, it kills time. i'm now going to tell you about my life.

i was born in South Korea and stayed there until I was 5, then moved to the Philippines. I didn't stay long, only for 3 months in my cousin's house. then we moved to France and here i am living my life while other kids like to be racist about asians and their small eyes and being good at math and loving school. you know, those typical asian kid stereotype. they were supposed to be jokes, but a stereotype applies to everyone they're talking about. and not all asians love school or are good at math. i'm pointing at myself for proof heh-. so i think it's just racist. i might seem a bit over sensitive or something but it's what i feel and think. i don't really care anymore, though. it's normal, it's life, so i just say barapapabye. we don't need those kinds if negativities in life.

i may seem like a strong person right now, i'm not. maybe i don't even seem like a strong person to you, or to anyone reading this now. it took me months to train myself to ignore these racial comments. it took me time to shut off feelings a bit. that's a different story. but, it didn't take me long to shut off my trust. it took about 5 days. again, different story. i'm running out of room and i don't like writing on the back or getting another page. it wastes paper and it doesn't make the letter nice if it's written on the back. oh lord not much space left-

sincerely, a n o n y m o u s