I tapped my feet nervously on the cold white floor of the hospital waiting room. I had snuck out of TM after I had made the boys coffee, my good mood throwing them off and they were none the wiser. If they had of known where I was going I would have had a samcro escort to the hospital and I really could not deal with all the stares and judgement from the whole of Charming, not knowing who the father of your baby is makes for really interesting gossip apparently, especially when you are surrounded by a group of bikers.
"Jessie" the female doctor called out breaking me from my thoughts. I sighed and stood up and followed her down the hall. I started to have second thoughts about what I was doing. I sat down in the dr's office and listened to the dr talk about what I should be doing for the baby and what I should expect and I started to sweat and panic and all I could think of to do was run.
This lead me to sitting in a clinic on the other side of town tapping my foot nervously again on the white floor, still wondering if what I was doing .. was the right thing. I took out my phone and stared at the 10 missed calls from Jax and the three from Chibs and just one from Happy, the one missed call from Happy made me nervous, he only needed to try once before he just decided to start looking instead.
"Jessie" the Nurse called out, this was feeling way too familiar to me. I got up and started to follow her across the waiting room and that's when I heard it, the roar of a group of motorcycles. That couldn't be them I thought to myself they never knew where I was going in the first place, I was just being paranoid. The noise disappeared and I started to breathe again, but a part of me wanted them to burst through the door.
3 hours later I was sitting outside of TM, I had made it back without being caught and I had a few more missed calls. A few minutes later more nerves set in as they pulled into the lot, i knew I was in trouble.
"Where have you been!?" Jax almost yelled at me. "We have been looking for you everywhere! Even drove across to the other side of town!" And he paused as if he was waiting for a reaction from me and I looked over at Happy who wouldn't look at me. And that's when the anger hit me.
"YOU FOLLOWED ME!!!!" I yelled at Happy who still didn't look up. I went to walk over to him but Jax grabbed me. "LET ME GO!" I was crying now.
"Babe calm down" Jax said, he looked sad now the tough guy act falling away I knew he was angry with my decision.
"Why did you just ride away then?" I practically whispered.
"What!?" Jax said just as quietly.
"Why did you drive away from the clinic?"
Jax looked at me confused.
"Happy said you weren't in there .. said you left ..."
Jax was facing Happy now a rage that I had never seen before burning in his eyes.
"Jax .." I said quietly, "Happy did the right thing"
"What did you do" he said, his voice cold and unfamiliar.
I couldn't find my voice again, so I just turned away and walked out of the parking lot.
I walked back to my house the one I had intended to leave forever and I wish I had just done it. I opened the door and looked around, I felt like I didn't belong here anymore.
I was laying on the couch watching some bad tv show when there was a knock on the door.
"I'm not doing this now Jax" I said as I opened the door.
"I don't want to fight Jessie, I hate what you have done, but I just want to make sure you are ok"
"I'm fine Jax, I don't need you to come around here and make me feel bad about this".
I felt the tears start to form in my eyes for what felt like the millionth time today. Jax just continued to stare at me.
"Jax I'm .." dammit I thought to myself as I let out a sob. Jax took two big strides towards me and wrapped his arms around me as I felt my world crumble around me and we just stood in the doorway as I sobbed into his arms.
"What have I done" I cried.
