Alone On the Ship

December Flower

The crowd cheered as she clutched the medal. She stood on the podium with a smile on her face, but inside she felt like she was kneeling after the pressure ripped her apart. She felt like the world around her was a tyrant that laughed at her, but despite the pain in her legs, she stood on the podium with pride. After it was over, she walked out and put her skates in her bag and went out into the snow.

"You must be Svetlana." Someone said, and she turned around.

A girl in a pale pink hood walked over to her.

"Yes... That's me..."

"My name is Aoi Hiyashi, I was wondering if I could invite you over to my home... If you can't, I understand completely, I know you're very busy, but..."

Before she could finish, Svetlana agreed to go.

"I'd be happy to." Svetlana said.

It would be a moment away from the pressure, a moment away from the world, a moment away from the tyrant that laughed at her misery. The two walked to Aoi's home. It wasn't a big house, but it was also by no means small. It was on Mount Takao- though not at the peak. It had a large glass window in the living room that looked down at Hachiōji. Svetlana went inside and took a seat on the couch in the living room. She gazed at the city below, finding peace in the feeling that she was away from it all.

"What's it like being an Olympian?" Aoi asked before offering champagne.

"Pressuring... I try not to think about it..." Svetlana replied, accepting the drink.

Aoi nodded and handed the glass over to her.

"What's your home life like?" Aoi asked.

Svetlana stayed silent for a minute.

"Besides talk of grades or me being an Olympian, it's nice enough.." Svetlana responded.

She took a drink of the champagne and smiled.

"What about them isn't?"

Svetlana stayed silent again. The silence lasted longer, but Aoi waited it out.

"My parents don't talk to me if I don't have all 5's in my classes, and they said they would disown me if I ever got a silver medal. It's a lot of pressure." Svetlana explained.

Aoi sat next to her and took her hand.

"And how does that make you feel about yourself?" Aoi asked.

"Pardon?"

"Are you still confident in yourself? Do you feel worthy of others' satisfaction?" Aoi asked.

"Well... I am confident in myself, yes." Svetlana replied. "I do the best I can, after all."

"Of your self-worth?"

"It's a bit shaky... But I tend not to think about what others think about me, and just stick to my own satisfaction." Svetlana said.

"Do you have many friends back at home?" Aoi asked.

"A few here and there, though I only keep up with a couple.. I don't really have the time to hang out with them too often." Svetlana replied.

"Do you wish you did?" Aoi asked.

"Sometimes I'd give anything for it, other times I don't really give a damn." Svetlana responded. "I see them enough, and they're all good to me."

"What's the most distinct memory of them you have?" Aoi asked.

"Well... One time this one girl and I got into a fight. I'm talking actually throwing punches, and eventually smashing bottles over the other's head. It was bad. She was the girlfriend of my friend Alexander, and I didn't know her too well. But she was always a bitch to me, and I never knew why. Apparently she thought he was cheating on her with me, but I told her I had nothing to do with him. That day she called me a "мусорная свалка", or "garbage dump" as in like a whore. I lost it, and I hit her in the head with a baseball bat. She had to go to the hospital because I ended the fight by cracking her head open with a lead pipe. I felt terrible, and Alexander wouldn't speak to me for a few days. I tried going to the hospital to apologize, but they wouldn't let me. I delivered flowers to her every day, hoping for her forgiveness. My parents made sure that I didn't go out with exception to school, and they refused to talk to me. But my friend Sasha had made sure I was okay, and he personally took me to the hospital. He was really pale and had white hair. He was an albino with really long hair and a red nose... People gave him the nickname of the "Siberian Crane" because of it, and it was funny because he was from northern Russia too. But he's always been really protective of me, and he's one of the few friends I keep up with all the time. He even offered to fight Alexander for me, but I told him not to. It's kinda funny, because he turned bright red when I had to kiss his cheek for a dare... He's been with a few girl, and he's never gotten like that. He couldn't even speak for a good five minutes... I heard he went home really happy though. But anyways, Alexander's girlfriend got out of the hospital, and I asked if she ever received any of the flowers I sent. She said that she did, and she gave me a hug, then apologized. She said she needed it, but I apologized as well anyways. We've been friendly ever since, though we don't talk much. Although Alexander wasn't too happy about the whole ordeal, he's happy that it brought the two of us closer. Though the only person who visited me in the hospital was Sasha, and he snuck to my home to see me as well. My parents owned a lot of guns, like they hung rifles up everywhere, but Sasha came over regardless. I don't really know why, but he's always been such a great friend... Everybody says he's cold, but he's always been really protective and worried about me." Svetlana explained.

"Do you think he has a crush on you?" Aoi asked.

"Huh?"

Aoi chuckled.

"You've never had a boyfriend, have you?" Aoi asked.

"I've never even liked a guy." Svetlana replied, laughing as she said so.

Aoi laughed as well, and the two ended up sitting there with big smiles on their faces.

"How come you invited me over?" Svetlana asked.

"Well... Last month, one of my best friends committed suicide. I couldn't talk him out of it, and it's eaten away at me ever since then... That's why I've decided that I wanted to become a therapist. I want to help others, and when you were in the parking lot, I saw that you were stressed. I knew that you needed someone to express everything to." Aoi explained.

"I'm guessing you do too?" Svetlana asked.

"Yeah..." Aoi replied. "My brother constantly worries that I'll end up kill myself like him..."

Svetlana hugged her.

"All you need to do is give him a great big hug and promise him that you won't..." Svetlana said with a smile.

Aoi nodded, and Svetlana pulled away from the hug.

"Thank you, Svetlana." Aoi said.

"For what?"

"You helped me too, you helped me figure things out a bit more... Figure things out about my path and about people. I'm one step closer to seeing this through..." Aoi said.

"Good..." Svetlana said. "What was your friend's name?"

"His name was Iseul, he was Korean..." Aoi replied.

Svetlana nodded and went into her bag. Aoi was intrigued by this, and gazed at her. Svetlana pulled out a silver bracelet with a gold band in the center. She then took out a sharp pen. It didn't have ink, rather, it was for etching. She asked for Aoi to spell his name out, then she etched it into the gold.

"It's twenty-karat. Really pure, really soft." Svetlana said as she signed her name afterwards.

She then slipped it onto Aoi's wrist. Although it was a bit loose, Svetlana knew it would fit in time.

"You'll always have something to remember him by." Svetlana said.

Aoi smiled brightly.

"Hey, Svetlana?"

"Yeah?"

"My brother's coming home soon. Why don't you stay for dinner?" Aoi asked.

Svetlana agreed, and she looked at the vase on the table. Inside was a narcissus flower, or the December flower. Even though it was four years before they went on the cruise, Aoi and Svetlana still remembered the day like it was only the day before.