Sweet Deals

Sour Candy

Credit: Daria-Yakovleva / Pixabay.com

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So rip the pictures from your wall, tear them down and burn them all,

Light the fire and walk away; there is nothing left to say.

Take the ashes from the floor, bury them just to make sure,

That nothing more is left of me, but a bittersweet memory

~From the Song – Bittersweet memories ~

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The deafening silence was broken when Ragini demanded, "he was the one, right, Swara? The one for whom you ran away from home, the one for whom you felt you could follow to the ends of the earth but who could not even meet you at the station? The one for whom you might still carry a torch for, even to this day? The reason why......." Ragini stilled when she saw that Swara had frozen and her face had a look of abject terror as though her worst nightmare had somehow come to life. Swara staggered backwards, turned and ran into their room, as though the mere physical presence of her long-buried nemesis would destroy her, her quickening steps echoing the desperation she felt. Ragini appeared torn as to whether she should stay back and challenge Laksh or go to her sister who would now be dealing with the demons they thought were long gone and buried deep. It took her only a moment before she made up her mind and ran after Swara.

Ragini found Swara sitting on the floor near her bed, hugging her knees to herself with a vacuous look on her face. She knelt before Swara and shook her, desperately trying to control her raging emotions – her questions would have to wait, she thought, as she strove to control the anger and a small surprising tinge of jealousy forming a potent mix that threatened to engulf the desperate concern for her sister. But Swara seemed to be frozen and did not respond to any amount of shaking. Despondently, Ragini sank before Swara and hesitantly asked, "Swara, do you.....do you still love him?"

Swara stared at Ragini, the question seemed to stir something in her and she retorted, "No." The ferocity of which she had said that surprised Swara herself and she continued, "No, I do not love him. I am not sure of anything in my life as I am sure of this. I do not love Bipul or whatever name he calls himself now, anymore. Actually, I am not sure if I did love him then either. I was young and naïve, I guess I was enamored by the idea of love, by the freedom that that idea gave me, an escape from Dadi and all her stifling rules, from our parents who just stood by the side as Dadi decreed how we had to live and breathe. I do not love him." She paused, wringing her hands, as though wondering how to continue. "But I am worried for you; how do I know that Bipul...Laksh is serious now and you are not another of his temporary flings?"

Ragini slumped further as she heard Swara – of one thing she was sure, Swara could never tell a lie. So if she said she did not love Lakshya anymore she could be believed completely. But that same belief brought to fore the other uncomfortable truth, was Laksh trustworthy or was she just another fling for him? Ragini was now buffeted by an entirely new set of emotions that took the place of the earlier concern, anger and jealousy. It was fear, fear that what Swara suspected was true and pain, pain at the thought of losing her love. For once, Ragini was silent, as she realized the burning misery of what Swara must have felt as your dreams and hopes turned to ashes. For a long time both the sisters sat in silence each lost in their own thoughts and too burnt out to share them with each other.