Soap | Sope ✓

13

hoseok couldn't tell if the reason he couldn't open his eyes was because of the light streaming through the window or tears that had molded them shut.

after yoongi had ran out into the pouring rain at two in the morning, he broke down. it was like a dull ache in his chest that wouldn't go away so he sobbed up until the early morning until his lungs felt like they would literally split open. then he started crying mindlessly, not caring that he had college that day.

it was the day after that and hoseok still cried himself to sleep. he fucked up so bad.

hoseok groaned and turned his face into the pillow and sobbed, hopefully this time, getting it all out. he just knows yoongi hates him now and that's probably the worst part.

god, hoseok thought, tears still staining his pillows. is this what heartbreak feels like?

the even sadder part is, is that he could have prevented his own heartache. hoseok sweared at himself mentally. he should have pushed yoongi away, pretended like it never happened, but of course he just had to feed into his own desires. and now hoseok's facing the consequences.

but what made him cry even harder, was remembering the look on the blonde's face when he pulled away and ran out the door. "no.. no, i'm not okay," was yoongi's last words to him. possibly ever.

it didn't matter how alive hoseok felt while kissing yoongi. any relationship they had, was ruined, and now all hoseok felt like doing was sleeping forever and never waking up.

the sudden urge to pee is only thing that got hoseok out of bed after just laying there for about an hour. he shuffled back to his bed after he finished and got back in bed for another day of just laying there. his phone died yesterday but he couldn't muster up enough energy to bring himself to walk to the kitchen to get his charger.

hoseok was usually too awake to sleep and too weak to move so he hasn't even tried to do anything in the past two days besides going back and forth between is bed and the bathroom.

a hard and loud knock echoed throughout the apartment, traveling all the way from the front door and to the redhead's ears. hoseok whined and covered his face and tears with the pillow laying next to him. he hoped, whoever it was, would take the silence as a hint to go away.

but the knocking continued until he heard someone shout, "hoseok! open the door!" even though the voice was muffled, he made it out to be the deep tone of his best friend namjoon.

"g-go away!" hoseok yelled back, his voice cracking due to about two days of crying.

"you bitch, i'm coming in!" namjoon fired back, his tone indicating he was irritated. the elder then realized that he indeed did leave the door unlocked.

within seconds the door of his bedroom flew open to reveal an angry namjoon. "i haven't heard from you in days- the fuck, are you okay?"

namjoon stopped mid sentence when saw the state hoseok was in. the situation brought sudden flashbacks of the time yoongi came over and found him sick so he took care of him. suddenly, hoseok's eyes watered just like they did when he thought of any moment he had with him.

he tried to hold back his tears but they leaked over his eyelids anyway. namjoon looked at his best friend in surprise as he watched him turn into his pillow and let out a choked sob. "n-no! fuck, no i'm n-not!"

"hoseok.." the raven-haired man whispered, any thought of yelling at the boy vanishing. "wha.. what happened?"

"yoongi happened! i happened!" at this point, hoseok didn't know if his tears were directed at yoongi or him hating himself. "it's my fault, namjoon.."