Dear Friend

#2 Coldplay

Dear Friend,

Today things went awry. I shouldn't be surprised though, it always happens on every festival or celebration. I could see it coming from a lightyear. Maybe that's why I stayed much calmer today in this mess. I wonder if it was calmness or my intentional numbness.

The chaos had already started around 3:40 am. I was fast asleep when I heard a loud crashing sound and a woman shouting in panic. I dreaming but I can't remember it as I jumped out of my bed and ran out of my room. It was my grandma shouting and cursing her drunk son who lay dazed on the bathroom floor, his mind still trying to process the rocket science of getting up after a fall. She screamed wildly at him and then at me, telling me to pick him up, shouting out to the world how ridiculously hopeless he is. She always does this, you know. Inflating every situation into seriousness of an ISIS terrorism attack. And I am like – For God's sake, would you mind lowering your voice down? It's almost four in the morning! But she kept on cursing as she always does and he threw back some verbal abuses still sitting on the floor. I bent down to pick him up but he slapped my hand away and with some minimal grunts he got up. Still swaying side to side, paced back into his room. Mom was sleeping on the sofa and she asked what happened. I said what I always say – Both Mother and son are crazy, don't mind them.

I thought it had ended so I was back in my room but then I again herd shouts and I ran out to find him attacking my grandma. I and my mom held him back, but he had already slapped her, screaming obscene words while my brother peeked from the blanket, irritated. We held him and pulled him back to his room while he kept on resisting. We succeeded and I shut my grandma's room.

So this is how my morning began but wait, the climax is yet to come

I couldn't fall asleep so I listened to a podcast, about life of Sylvia Plath; the speakers were really annoying as they kept on trying to make fun of her life miseries and her choice of death. I don't find it funny to laugh at someone who killed herself by putting her head in oven and sealing her kitchen so that the fumes don't get to her kids. Like seriously dude, which part about it makes you laugh out so stupidly? I understand the speaker themselves had gone through such a phase of attempts; I know they understand and both wanted to make it sound light. But all they did was forcing cruel humor on a suicide. I wonder is this how people talk about you when you are gone? Laughing jollily on your miseries. I would suggest you to read her poem - the Sheep in fog, i liked the poem, it reflects her last thoughts of her last days.

They seemed ignorant even though they themselves knew the desperation of that moment and the thoughts that follows in that process. After a while I had enough and I shut it. I listened to a calming song instead- Strawberry String by Coldplay, a really nice friend gave me a list of songs that are found to reduce stress and it was one of them. There was a Mozart sonata too which I can't even spell right ,either way I don't seem to have the patience to listen to it when I am anxious but I did like the Adele song – Someone like you, it was my type and in the list ,so hell yeah. I finally fell asleep.

Oh Yes the climax ....well wait-for-it because it comes in the night. But Jesus, both my morning and nights are blessed with the deeds of my so called father. It sucks most of the time but what can I say. Things happen, life goes on, and time goes on, even when the time inside you seems to have stopped. It feels all cold and frozen inside. I hope the spring could melt it all.