Blackmail: A Larry Stylinson Story {Temporary Hiatus}

5. The Beginning of Destruction

Hello my perfect little butterflies! It's currently 4 am and I'm drinking soup out of a Tinkerbell cup :3

Maybe we can get 5 votes again for the next chapter? :)

This will again contain self-harm. For this chapter and any future SH scenes will be placed in asterisks ( * )

Louis’ P.O.V 

The door closed and I crumpled forward, landing on my knees. I folded over so my forehead was leaning on the floor, tears falling freely and soaking into the carpet. 

I heard a bang and a howl of pain that did not sound human. 

I slowly picked myself up off the floor and walked out to the hallway to see a huge fist-shaped dent in the wall at the end of the hallway, cracks fissioning out from the pressure point in the middle and an agonised Harry, clutching his right to his chest and hopping up and down in pain, his face contorted in a horrific grimace . . . and tear tracks on his face? 
Harry rarely cries and it's never from physical pain. It must be worse than I imagined.

Hesitantly I slunk forward, carefully measuring each step, calculating the possible reactions I receive. I stopped about 10 paces away from Harry, who didn't notice my approach. 

I observed him with wary eyes, analysing every inch of his body. He'd had a haircut, but his hair was still limp and dull, thinning around his temples. His skin had only gotten worse. It seemed almost translucent, pale white with bruises marking his arms and hips, disappearing under his shirt.
His t-shirt hung off him and his jeans were only staying up because of a black leather belt tight around his narrow hips, jutting out above the band of his jeans. His curious weight loss must be causing the bruises, I decide.

Holding my hand in front of me, I asked Harry for forgiveness. "Please Hazza, come back," my voice dropped to a whisper. "I promise that I'll change. I just need you to stay."
Harry looked up, his face pale and devoid of emotion bar the pain that still lingered in his eyes. He took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds, seeming to deliberate on what to say to me.
Exhaling noisily, he looked at my eyes, momentarily stunning me with the beauty of them and the emotion they held.

"Lou, I just, I can’t live with you anymore. Number one, I'm getting married to Caroline, so I'm moving in with her. And two," he paused for a moment and the pain in his eyes deepened and began to show on his face.

"Two, I can't live with you because I know how you feel about me and I can't do it. I'm sorry. You're my best friend but I can't cope with you being - with you being what you are. It disgusts me that you’re one of them" He pushed past me and disappeared down the stairs, vanishing from my life again. Only this time, I knew I’d never see him again. My legs gave out and I just sat there on the floor, staring blankly at the hole, wishing, not for the first time, that I was straight.

I had no clue how long I sat there, but I honestly didn’t have the strength or the desire to move. Because of my stupid feelings, I had lost my best friend to a fucking 33-year-old who doesn’t even love him the way I do – stop it Tommo. Stop thinking like this. These feelings cost you your best friend. Maybe if I don’t love him anymore, we can try to be best friends again.

A hand waved in front of my face, startling me. I jerked my head backwards and I guess I erred on the amount of force needed because I found myself lying flat on my back, slightly breathless.

“Lou, you okay mate?” Zayn’s calm voice. I groaned internally and rose to my feet. Of course it’d be Zayn who’d find me. Zayn who doesn’t even give a shit that Harry's gone. I shot him an annoyed look and muttered “fine”, brushing past him not sparing him a single glance. Liam’s voice rung out from the kitchen as I made my way to the fridge to get a drink. “Zayn, did you find - Lou?”

I sent a small smile his way before pulling out a bottle of water from the fridge and two painkillers from the jar above it. Popping them in my mouth and swallowing quickly, chasing the awful aftertaste away with the cool liquid.

“Lou, you right? I saw Harry leaving.” The reminder of his last words to me made me wince in remembrance. “Please, let’s not talk about him,” I begged Liam, giving him the puppy dog eyes I knew he couldn’t resist. Pulling me into a one-armed hug, he sighed but granted me my wish.

“Did you want some breakfast?” Liam offered me a plate of eggs and bacon. I took it to the table thanking Liam with another smile. I set the plate down and took a seat. I lifted a forkful halfway to my mouth, before the nausea overpowered me. Setting it down abruptly, I raced up the stairs and into the bathroom, making it in time to be violently sick in the toilet. There was only thin bile and spit, seeing as I hadn’t eaten for the past 16 hours. I coughed once more, and stood up shakily. I rinsed my mouth out with water and brushed my teeth twice before exiting the bathroom.

Making my way back to my bedroom, I paused at the hole Harry had created, running my fingers gently over the cracks. It was the only physical evidence that he had lived here left in the house.

Sighing heavily, I continued down the hallway til I reached my room, entering more subdued then when I left it this morning. This morning. It had seemed so promising. I thought for sure that Harry would stay, stay with me. But I guess my feelings tore us apart. I flopped onto the bed, closing my eyes to the harshness of reality and let myself be dragged to unconsciousness.

I woke up to a dark room, the numbers of my alarm casting a pale red glow across the room, informing me that it was 2:14 a.m. It was way too early. I rolled over and stretched my arm out, searching for Harry, until I realised that he was long gone.

I sat up, causing my legs to twist deeper into the tangled mess of blankets covering the lower half of my body. Carefully extricating myself from the offending blankets, I padded as silently as I could manage to the bathroom in search of relief.

Easing the cupboard open to avoid excess noise, I picked up the razor and twisted it in my fingers, letting the light glance off the blade, dazzling my eyes, like Harry used to every morning when he woke up and his voice was all croaky from sleep and so goddamned sexy.

I winced at the memory and swiftly brought the razor down across my wrist, slightly higher from the last ones. I didn’t want to risk killing myself – yet.

***
The blood ran slower than last time, I mustn’t have gone as deep. Experimentally, I dug the blade in deeper than before, cutting a thicker line, reopening the barely-visible scars on my forearm, and the blood that I felt had been missing appearing in small rivers, sliding over my skin, tainting it glorious red. I admired it in gross fascination. I shouldn't feel like this again, but frankly, I'm just not in the mood to care. The initial sting and burn that had accompanied the cuts the last time was beginning to fade. I frowned and made a new slice, repeating it several times as the burn started to fade.
***

I looked up in horror as I heard footsteps approach the bathroom, which turned to sudden relief as they thudded down the stairs. Must be Liam getting his regular early morning drink. He’d taken to sleeping in a bedroom closer to me since he had left.

I attended to my wounds with quiet satisfaction. The rush I got from those 5 cuts was unlike anything else. I couldn’t think of anything else that would take away the pain like cutting does. I quickly cleaned the bathroom, taking care to leave no trace of blood to give myself away before returning to my room and the land of nod.

*** 3 months later ***

The phone rang, jolting me out of the nightmare I’d been having. My hand fumbled around on the bedside table, dropping my phone twice before I succeeded in answering it.

“’Lo?” My voice was deep, husky and slightly breathless. I heard someone breathing lightly, probably trying not to give themselves away. I began to get irritated after three minutes of silence. “Look, tell me who’s talking right now, or I’m hanging up!” my finger hovered over the ‘end call’ button. When the person on the other end spoke. I dropped the phone in shock.

“Boo?”

 I'm really sorry that it's a bit shorter than I anticipated. I'm just struggling with Louis' POV. Hopefully, I'll be able to update faster and get the drama happening :P

Vote/Comment :)

Lauren xx