seconds before ✧ #MidnightSunMovie

i remember that night as if it were my last. how the distant music pulsed through my veins, the chilly december breeze nipped my skin, and the stars plastered across the night sky flickered like fireflies humming in a summer's breath; perhaps more memorable, however, were not the sensory elements of the night, but rather the passionate feelings built from the snow beneath our feet.

i was nineteen years old when i fell in love.

amidst the crowd of unruly teenagers dancing drunkenly to the heavy beat of the music, she stood out like a kindled flame. hundreds of unfamiliar people swayed before me as though underwater and her fiery eyes met mine with the passion of a thousand stars. every single memory she and i had ever shared came flooding back in that instant and i found myself drowning alongside the wasted souls surrounding me.

the sea of people seemed to part as the curious girl sauntered my way, an ablaze trail of gasoline. her black curls bounced rhythmically with her steps as she paced towards me, the chocolate of her eyes becoming more pronounced as she neared.

amber miller and i were no strangers. two years prior she was everything i desired in a girl; intelligent, beautiful, honest, and as vibrant as the universe in her eyes. amber miller was a diamond in the rough; a spark on a cold, winter's night; the blazing sun in a galaxy full of stars. she was my first love at age seventeen and i knew from the day i met her that i never wanted to let her go.

i had always found it peculiar how the people in your life you need the most are always the first to leave. amber miller moved to washington nearly a year after we met, leaving me stranded in the suburbs of tampa with a farewell and a broken heart.

to see her then, years later—at a stranger's new year's party near the university of chicago, of all places—stirred up a hurricane of emotions inside me. amidst the ivory kinks of her hair and the chiseled edges of her face and the radiant glow of her smile i pinpointed the constellations within her eyes that illuminated the dim room we occupied. for the first time in years i felt at home.

as the room full of strangers swayed under ocean currents i took amber miller's hand and we danced as though we were ablaze. though the night would not last and the party would end and by the morning she would be gone i held onto her and kindled our flame. every magnificent moment, every marvelous dance, every passionate bond must always reach a downfall but only the seconds before inevitable destruction truly determine a concept's worth.

though, a year later, i have yet to run into the spark of my adolescence again, i pray every night that i still have a place somewhere in the galaxies trapped in her eyes.