Mindfulness ( blue edition)

{ 10 } younger me

~when I was 14~
I started writing when I was 14
The age of having the first crush and kiss
Or probably getting your period with more sense knocked within you

But this age for me was when I first started expressing my self by art
When feelings collapsed into shallow griefs bashing all positivity to result as words I've written
melodies I've sung ,melodies ;they burst into moments captured by
colors I painted on the walls of my brainy madness

I was too young to be this complicated but who cares ...

I've never craved attention or maybe I did to the point I refused it ;just like when I loved until I hated
I remember having those late night glittery thoughts when I made sure everyone was asleep ... and my subconscious mind was alight
"tomorrow.. might not be as good stay strong beautiful " I mumbled under my breath .
I know .. I know

I was too young to be this complicated but who cares...

Was exposed to humans look alikes
The intentionally monsters that fed on sadness I knew
Yet their chocolate brown gazy eyeballs where beaming
Craving that one day their emotional cancer shall be extracted so their soul-body complex can intertwine
Yet I choosed to see the best in them

I know I know

I was too young to be this complicated but who cares...

There will be hope
But first let me be . ~Aa