Love & Misunderstanding

Chapter Nine - Jonathan's POV

If there was one place you could always find me, it was in the manor's vast, library. The library itself consisted of two full storeys, filled with to maximum capacity with books dating back to the medieval ages. Despite what some might claim, it was not the largest collection in England. As I recalled, my uncle in London had a library that was much larger than ours. However, I was fond of it regardless. It had all of my favourite authors, so I was satisfied with it.

In my own personal opinion, the library was more like a home to me than the rest of the manor, for I spent a great deal of my time browsing through its shelves. It seemed that each member of this household tended to stick to a certain part of the estate. Caroline stayed in the music room, teaching her students, and Vincent could normally be found out riding one of the many trails or shooting game birds. Father often remained in his study, when he was at home that was, and Mother spent most of her time planning lavish garden parties and balls, when she was not suffering from her headaches.

There were times when we could go several weeks without seeing one another. Truth be told, It was much more common to pass a servant in the corridor than a member of my own family. We were not particularly close, but that was simply what we had gotten used to growing up, and at times I wished that I never had to see them. Especially in moments that I wanted to be alone.

"Jonathan, are you in here?" I heard my mother call.

"Where else would I be?" I asked, not even bothering to look up from the book I was reading. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to inform you that I received a letter from my good friend Mrs. Bellinger, in Norwich," she explained, striding towards me. "She has agreed to an arranged marriage between you and her daughter, Luciana."

At the very mention of the words "arranged marriage," I slammed my book shut. I was tempted to throw it at her face, but I restrained myself and put it back on the shelf instead. "You may write her back, telling her that I am not interested."

"You have not even seen the girl, Jonathan. You may like her."

"I highly doubt that," I said, rolling my eyes.

She was furious. "Why are you so against the idea of being married?"

"Why are you so insistent on marrying me off?" I asked out of turn. "Do you want to get rid of me that badly?"

"You know very well that it is your duty to marry well and continue the family name."

"That is Vincent's duty, not mine."

"As a member of the Gilmore family, you happen to share this duty with your brother and sister."

"It is not an obligation that we all feel the need to fulfill."

She was silent for a moment, but unfortunately it did not put an end to the argument. "I gave up on Caroline a long time ago. However, Vincent will marry without question and I expect you to do the same."

My mother had a way of pushing me to the point where I could no longer hide the way I felt. In a normal family that would have been good, but in this case it was far from it. "Caroline gets to choose her fate, but I do not?" I asked.

"Caroline chose against my wishes and her decision did not go without consequences," she said sternly. "Now I am going to write Mrs. Bellinger back, telling her that you would be delighted by the arrangement."

"If you do, I will deny her publicly," I warned.

"You would not dare!" she retorted. "You would disgrace us all!"

"If that is what it takes to get it through your thick skull, then so be it!" I exclaimed.

In a rage, I stormed out of the library, slamming the door behind me, breaking into a run down the corridor. My only thought was to get out of that wretched place and go for a long walk. In the past, whenever I had felt angry, or just had something on my mind, I would go out for a walk. The fresh air always seemed to help clear my head and calm me down.