Love & Misunderstanding

Chapter Eleven - Jonathan's POV

As I laid in my bed, staring up at the plain old ceiling, the memories of that afternoon spun through my head like a wild tornado. I could scarcely believe what I had just done. Surely it had to have been a dream. Had I really splashed around in the water like a child? I kept pinching myself on the arm, but it made no difference. I always felt it. It was all real. I was deeply ashamed of my undignified behaviour in front of Miss Hoffman. Although, I suppose she was acting rather undignified as well. I do believe that was the first time I had seen a woman's bare ankles before, let alone a brief glimpse of her petticoat.

However, despite my own humiliation, I had actually enjoyed every carefree minute of it. Fortunately, my family had not even noticed that my clothes were drenched and my hair was a messed up. I had tried my best to hide all evidence of what I had done, but I was sure that it was still somewhat visible. If my mother had taken notice, she surely would have thought that I had tried to drown myself. She tended to think that I wanted to kill myself for some reason. Although, I will admit that I had mentioned it a few times, I had never actually gone through with it.

"There is no use in lying here all night," I said to myself, as I slowly got up and walked over to my desk, where I almost always kept a pitcher of water. There were many nights when I could not sleep, and when I could not sleep, I often become thirsty. The servants all knew about this particular habit of mine, and by now it was only natural for them to deliver a pitcher of water to my room before nightfall and refill it before the next.

As I poured the cool, refreshing liquid into a glass and gradually gulped it down, my hand came to rest on the damp shirt I had wore earlier that day, which hung over the back of the chair. My previous conversation with Miss. Hoffman then came to mind. I was still shocked by what she had told me. It answered every question that had been left unanswered surrounding their mysterious arrival, as well as Mr. Hoffman's grumpy behaviour. It dawned on me that they would not have moved to England if it had not been for those two unfortunate events. None of this would have happened if it had not been for those two tragedies. While that did mean that Matthew would never have had his heart broken, I actually found myself pleased that they had come.

I was unsure of whether or not to consider her a friend, but I did trust her to a certain degree, and I had enjoyed the time we spent together earlier that afternoon. We had not talked much, but perhaps that was what I enjoyed about it the most. It was refreshing to be around someone who was not constantly trying to engage me in conversation. I could now see just how wrong I had mistook her character. She was nothing like Louise Abbott. I could also see how unhappy Miss Hoffman would have been with Matthew. Perhaps, deep down, I was even glad that she had rejected him, as strange as it was to say.

Just then there came a knock at my door. "Jonathan, are you awake?" I heard my brother call.

"Yes," I called back reluctantly

A moment later, the door opened and in he came, without waiting for me to invite him. I suppose you could say that he was the typical older sibling, always sticking his nose in my business, and barging in like he owned the place. Most people liked him because he was confident and charismatic, but in my opinion, he was much too confident for his own good. He always believed that everything would go exactly the way he wanted, and did not realize that life did not work that way.

"What are you doing up at this hour? It is nearly midnight." he asked.