Have a Little Hope

5. Have a Little Meet Up

Hey everyone! Thanks so much for your support and lovely comments :) To the side, is who I imagine Cole as. There are a million pictures I would love to show you to drool over, but this one made me swoon so will start with that :P I hope you enjoy this chapter, do let me know what you think! 

‘Hope,’ my Nan coos, nudging me slightly.

I open one eye slowly, seeing her peering over my bed as she touches my hair gently. I love it when people play with my hair; when I was younger, my Nan and Dad would also get me off to sleep by stroking my hair through, it became my sort of comfort blanket to reassure me and get me settled. ‘Do you need me to drop you off today?’ She asks, sniffing midway through her question.

My heart strains when I remember what today is and I sit up in bed, dragging the thick cover up to my neck.

‘Do you think it’s a good idea, Nan?’ I ask her. ‘Honestly?’

I’m meeting one of the donor recipients today. I was thinking about today’s visit a lot yesterday, it was all I could think about. I’m meeting Cole Mellor today, this boy, well, man I suppose, he is 19, was given my dad’s heart, which to me is the most sacred part of the body, so this guy better be worth my dad’s heart. He has a part of my dad in him forever. Forever. I couldn’t do anything to save my dad and he’s benefitting as a result and that doesn’t bring me an overwhelming sense of happiness or selflessness, I still feel angry. I feel angry that my dad isn’t here instead and parts of him are now living on. It seems cruel, unjustified to me why my dad had to die while other people were rejoicing at having that organ, his organ.

But still, I need to meet these people. It’s just something I feel like I need to do.

‘Yes, I do, especially for you. You need some sort of closure and I think you need to see the positive side of what’s happened,’ she says opening my curtains up, letting the bright morning light blind my eyes.

‘But there isn’t one,’ I snap at her instantly, but regret it as soon as the words leave my mouth.

She turns to me and I immediately feel bad seeing that sad look on her face. I know she’s finding it difficult too, but she’s just got a better way of dealing with it than me. ‘You are just like your dad when he was a teenager, Hope,’ she tells me but gives me a smile to let me know that’s an okay thing. ‘Now get dressed and I’ll drop you off.’

An hour later and my Nan has dropped me off outside Cole’s house, vowing to be back in an hour or two. I was shocked to find out how close Cole’s house is to my grandparents, a mere ten minute drive from A to B.  On first impressions, the house is a pretty standard detached house close to the sea front. It is painted white with a bright blue front door. The garden is not as polished as the house looks and my dad would probably be a bit peeved to be honest seeing the lawn has not been mowed and the flowers have not been watered.

Gardening was always one of his biggest passions. He had those green fingers and made sure our gardens were always blossoming full of beautifully scented flowers and kept up to date with gorgeous green plants and freshly cut grass. I can’t say I followed in his footsteps. In hindsight, I wish I had paid attention to all those gardening tips he tried to tell me, but I always used to insist I didn’t care or for him to tell me later.

I wish I had given him a bit more time. I wish I had listened to those little things he thought were so important instead of brushing his comments aside because I was busy or didn’t want to hear about what made certain plants grow best.

Sighing, I walk up the path and knock on the door twice, before thinking I really should just run away at this point and never come back.

Decision made, this was a bad idea. A very, very bad idea.