Have a Little Hope

10. Have a Little Rivalry

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It’s Jennifer’s school performance today and Cole and I are currently saving seats for ourselves and his parents. We managed to get front row seats as we got here extra early. I’m not sure if Jennifer will like us being so close to the front, but I know her family only has good intentions to want to support her, which I think is lovely.

Cole brings out some sweets he’s brought to share, but explains he can’t have too many for wanting to keep as healthy as possible. He’s looking pretty smart today. He’s got fitted chinos and a white top on with an Aztec design printed onto it. His hair is shaggy and volumous in a way that mine just never will be. I don’t look too shabby myself. I’ve got my skinny bleach washed jeans and a loose white top on too. I’ve got a few earrings in each ear and am wearing my trusty colourful sandals as well.

‘Where does Jen go dancing?’ I ask as we wait. There are anxious school teachers dashing about the hall which is rather amusing to me. I went through a brief phase of wanting to be a teacher, but that changed when I learnt more and more about midwifery. That’s what I’ve wanted to do for two years now and after as much work experience I could get, I really thought it was my calling, though I doubt I’ll be even doing that considering what my exam results will be.

None the wiser, he shrugs. ‘Dunno. Why?’

I’ve been thinking about this a lot since Jennifer told me she danced. Belle suggested I needed to do something to keep me busy and active, and I had been wondering if I could maybe volunteer where she dances after school or even ask for a job, because when I’m surrounded by people, I can get by, but it’s when I have nothing to do, it takes every ounce of courage not to fall to the ground and cry about not having my dad around. What I need right now is to keep busy and just have someone with me. It sounds clingy, no, it is clingy, but I can’t help it. Being around Cole makes me forget everything as I have someone to cling to and cry to, even though we’re avoiding that breakdown at all costs.

I shrug, not wanting to tell Cole why until I know where I stand with the dancing thing.

Willa and Edward soon find us and sit down and soon the show commences. Cole looks so proud when he sees his little sister on stage dancing and acting. He beams at her and nudges me, whispering, ‘Isn’t she amazing?’

I grin at his affection for his sister. ‘She sure is.’

The show flies by without a hitch and it’s truly one of the best school productions I have ever been to. Cole and I stand up to give the children a standing ovation and they all look so pleased with themselves. The children rush off to change back into the normal clothes, so Cole and I go and stock up on refreshments. We find a little table to sit at as we wait for Jennifer.  Willa and Edward stand chatting to some other parents as we scoff the delicious fairy cakes.

‘What school did you go to?’ He asks as he sips his drink.

‘Primary or secondary?’

‘Both.’

‘Primary, I went to Holland Hill Primary and secondary I went to Mill View.’

He widens his eyes as he claps his hands on his knees. ‘You went there too? I never saw you there.’

I shrug at him. ‘Well it’s a big school.’

‘Yeah, maybe that, and also I went to an art college for year 12 but then had to pull out with the heart problems,’ he says, shifting awkwardly