SHIFTED.✔

11

Life went on like this. A roller coaster of war and peace. Two major events happened the following year. The first was to do with Jake. The second with Kerry.

It all started after Dad found a marijuana plant growing in the back of Mum's green house while he was weeding one Saturday. He dug it up and put it in an empty plant container. Then placed it in the middle of the kitchen table and waited. I knew when Jake came home that afternoon there would be hell to pay. The atmosphere, which filled the house, was like an imminent cyclone.

Not knowing what was in store for him, Jake casually mounted the stairs two at a time. He had grown into a good-looking young man. Even I was proud of the way he had turned out. Most of my friends who had seen him gushed. "Your brothers hot!" His hair had remained blonde, was sun bleached from working as a labourer on building sites. His skin had darkened and his body had filled out.

Kerry and I were in the lounge when Jake came into the kitchen. He didn't take any notice of the new pot plant on the table until Dad pointed it out to him.

"What the fuck is this, Jake?" We heard Dad say.

Kerry and I rushed into the hall and stood in the doorway uncertain of what to do if it turned bad. Jake pulled his head out of the refrigerator, his mouth full of milk. He swallowed and wiped his lips with the back of his hand.

"What?"

"Don't what me, son. I asked you a question. What the fuck is this?"

Jake's vivid blue eyes moved from Dad's face to the pot plant he was pointing at. I heard him groan. "How the fuck would I know?"

Dad gave a sarcastic chuckle. "So you think your sisters would know?"

"Maybe," Jake shrugged, his eyes darting from Dad and back at the plant.

Dad stood up and went at him. The fridge door slammed shut. He lunged at Jake pushing him hard up against the kitchen bench. Air gushed from Jake's lungs because of the force. Dad backed off. "Don't you fucking lie to me, son! Don't you try to put your sisters into the frame! What kind of arsehole are you?"

Jake stood up his hands held out in front of him, "Okay, okay, it's mine."

"So you think it's okay to put us on the wrong side of the law...hey, son...you think that's okay?"

"Jesus, Dad it's just one plant...for my own use."

"One plant, son! One plant! In your mother's greenhouse!"

Jake smiled a little. I'm sure it was to try and defuse the situation but it had the opposite effect. Dad lunged at him again. His fist caught Jake in the stomach. Jake exhaled loudly, bent over because of the sudden pain. In that instance, I could see something change in Jake. Looking back on it now I see it was a good thing.

I see it was the turning point in Jake.

The day he became a man.

He sucked in the pain and lunged at Dad. Threw a punch, which caught Dad on the chin.

"You fucking cunt! It's just one plant, not a plantation."

"Why the fuck can't you ever just ask?"

"Why the fuck do you always have to be a prick?"

"Why the fuck do you hate me so much?"

Mum rushed into the room as Dad stumbled backwards because of the blow. He stood stunned at Jake's retaliation. "You ungrateful bastard. We gave you life and this is how you repay us. You have no respect. You think I have to pay for all of your mistakes...pay your debts to society. You set us back ten years with all the shit you've put us through.

Your fucking car debt!

Break and enters!

Your brother's death!"

Jake breathed heavily in and out. His eyes blazed from the effect of the words Dad had just spoken. But his face changed, became almost serene as if finally there was relief in his life. When Jake spoke, his voice was a whisper.

"So this is what it's been about all these years. Why you've hated me so much. It's my fault. My fault Jed is dead."

Mum, Kerry and I gasped. Mum stepped between them. "Enough. This is enough," she turned to Jake.

"It's not your fault."

"None of it is your fault."

"It's nobody's fault."

"Jed made his choice. It was an accident."

Tears rolled down her face.

Tears rolled down all our faces.

I stood there stunned. Wondered how one small person's death could change the world for so many others. How that unwanted moment could have so much power, so much strength. I realised how that moment, the moment of Jed's death had shifted our futures. Wondered if he hadn't died would all this be as it was? Would we be as we were?

Dad fell to his knees, his body convulsed in anguish. Jake understood that pain. Knelt to meet him.

"I'm sorry...I should have been watching him...I'm sorry."

They gasped in unison. Were of one spirit. Connected by sorrow. Empathy bonded them as they clung to each other. Mum knelt down with them, she held her arms around them, became the tower of strength that she is, the link I now know all mothers are.

Kerry and I slunk away. We went to our room and held each other. Realised a significant change had happened.

Jake moved out of home the next day. It was a peaceful move. Not one full of fire and hate.

But one of a man who needed his time.

Needed to create moments of his own.

Copyright © 2017 by Donna Fieldhouse. All rights reserved.

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