The Bane Of My Existence ~ Analogical

Feelings

Patton's POV:

I drove up to the hotel car park, carefully stopping between two painted white lines.
"We're here, guys! We can explore the area in the morning!" I tugged at the aux cord, ending the seemingly endless loop of the song "Africa", earning a noise of complaint from my right. As I stepped out of the car, I started to take in my surroundings. The sky was darker now, and I immediately noticed the difference it had to the city sky. In the country areas, where the there were fewer lights and less crowds, the stars were littered in every direction. It was truly beautiful. I snapped my focus back to reality and helped Virgil with his luggage as Roman did the same with Logan.

The four of us, leaving most of our things in the car boot and only bringing a bag each, slowly made our way up to the hotel entrance. We collected four sets of keys: each for a small singular room on the third floor. It being quite late, we decided to hang out for a while in Roman's room. After a couple more hours of talking nonesense and listening to more Musicals, Disney, Beyoncé and other pop music, we gradually dispersed into our own rooms, me being the last remaining in Roman's room.

Logan's POV:

Recently, I'd been out of it. Hazy, distracted. At every silence I'd be in another world. At every chance my mind got, it started dreaming. At first, I'd tried my best efforts to focus on reality, but I soon discovered that I needn't stop myself from dreaming. I'd played through all sorts of situations and possibilities since that realisation. There was no point holding back any more. I could've plugged into my own playlist, but instead I simply lay back on top of the white sheets of my hotel bed, at night, fully dressed, in the dark silence.

I allowed my mind to travel down any and all directions, imagining situation after situation, the random and nonsensical as well as the realistic and satisfying. These made-up worlds started to involve the guys I was on this trip with, since I'd been conversing with only them for the past day.

Sometimes it got darker than I expected it to- I'd thought about what it'd be like if I lost someone close to me, and other situations in which I would struggle. Sometimes there would be no death or betrayal: sometimes I'd end up on top of the world, so to speak. Maybe I'd quit teaching and take up a career in astronomy, I sometimes even imagined what it would be like if I were to pursue a relationship. A romantic one. I'd never exactly "come out", as I'd never seen it as strictly necessary to draw attention to my sexuality. However, sometimes, I wondered if could even end badly, like if the people I thought I knew well didn't accept it.

Why did my brain go down these paths? There was no logical explanation, so I might never know. I'd never been the particularly imaginative type, I was more objective, organised, logical. So this... was new. Strange... fascinating. Even when it became distressing, it was fun to fantasise.

Roman's POV:

The energy of the night had died down. I sat on a countertop, staring emptily into my palms. Thinking. Thinking about one person in particular, in fact.
"Roman?" Patton mostly snapped me out of daze as he tapped my shoulder. He knew.

Vanessa. My girlfriend's name was Vanessa.

"She's so talented, Patton." I slipped off the counter and began to pace the hotel bedroom, flailing my arms in the air at every emphasis. "She plays three different instruments, you know? All fabulously!" Patton looked up at me sadly from where he was perched on the hotel bed.
"Roman." My pacing sped up.
"She writes stories and-and... poetry that makes me tear up—heck— she even puts my legendary acting skills to the test!"
"Roman!" An uncharacteristic yell came from my friend's mouth.

I stopped pacing and turned to face him. I looked him in the eyes before sighing and sitting on the bed.
"She broke up with you, Roman." My heart sunk like the Titanic. I knew this, but the truth was too painful. "You're in denial and it's not healthy." At that moment, I couldn't hold on any longer. A strangled sob escaped my lips, and I pulled my knees up to my chest as I finally let the tears fall. It was too much. I missed her. My friend wrapped his warm arms around me as I began to shake. She's gone. She's gone.

"W-we're in love, Pat." I choked out. He rubbed my shoulders firmly but comfortingly before responding.
"Past tense, Roman. Please. Don't do this to yourself." I shook my head vigorously.
"-but it's not in the past. I-I still l-love her... and I've never felt like that before. She was different, man." Patton held me closer to him, toying with my hair and hushing me gently.
"I know." He held my shaking frame and I held him, too. "But it's been three months, Ro. I understand it's not easy, but you can't keep pretending. You can't live a lie." Another loud sob escaped my lips. I couldn't imagine anything without her. I was broken.