𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐬 [ romanogers² ]

fourteen. left behind

I am back :)

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( fourteen. left behind )

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The silence on the quinjet was excruciating.

Neither of the two friends uttered a word since the jet took off because nothing more could be said about how messed up everything is. Both were torn, and Bucky was feeling an immense sense of guilt because he knew he's basically destroying Steve's newfound life here, and he knew he's costing him his loyal friends.

Steve saved him, but now, who's going to save him? Now that he lost everything, and it's all because of him. 

And he still had the nerve to call himself Steve's best friend?

Yeah, this is worse than hell.

"What's gonna happen to your friends?" Bucky suddenly asked, his tone hoarse, quiet, and full of guilt.

Steve exhaled a long breath, also feeling the pang of guilt weighing down on him when he realized what will happen. "Whatever it is," he swallowed thickly, "I'll deal with it."

"I don't know if I'm worth all this, Steve."

"What you did all those years, that wasn't you. You had no choice."

"I know," Bucky said defeatedly, lifting his gaze to him, "but I did it."

Steve didn't know how to respond to that. No words of assurance nor denial to counter what Bucky said when his words were nothing but the painful truth itself.

There was another long pause before Bucky spoke again, in a voice barely above a whisper. He hesitated asking because it was both a sore subject for him and Steve, but he needed to know. He wanted to know. "What about Natalia?"

Steve's response was instantaneously. Almost like a reflex. "Natasha," he corrected, and he didn't mean to sound defensive or rude, but it's as if he's reminded of the problems sprouting from the root of these damn accords up to this whole thing with him and Natasha. "What about her?"

If Steve saw the way Bucky flinched, he didn't show any sign that he did. Both knew why, because, as cheesy as it sounds, Natasha had carved herself a piece of her own space in both of these men's hearts. Even if it wasn't intentionally, it was all because of fate.

Natasha was fated to be a part of their lives, and now, it all comes down to the hardest part— when past collides with present and entangles itself in it as well.

Witnessing what had happened earlier on the hangar, it was pretty much clear to him that whatever was going on with Steve and her, it was more than just a relationship. It was something deeper, more complex, and destructively beautiful and powerful.

"Natasha," Bucky repeated, ignoring the sharp edge in Steve's tone because he kind of expected it. He just chose to take a risk in asking such a thing. "After this, what's gonna happen?"

Steve immediately understood what he meant. After this, was there any hope for them to start over? Especially when all they're left with are broken trust and divided friendships? Because this is more than just a matter of love. Love isn't enough to conquer all of this when it's all one big, giant mess.