I'm Still Breathing

Love Me

It was nice being back home. My head on Cheryl's chest. But everything wasn't feeling the same. I think this time might have done it. I might have driven her to a point of no return. All she does is laugh when I do or sigh all the time. And she hardly even looks at me. And the only blame is myself. I did this. I made her this way. I'm the monster she's afraid of.

"You want some breakfast? I made" I looked at the pan. "Pancakes. Well I'm making them" I said smiling as she came out of our room but only to walk into the bathroom.

She must not have heard me.

I put three pancakes on a plate for me and four for her because she loved my pancakes. We didn't have any eggs surprisingly enough so I just made bacon.

"Good morning" I said seeing her come out the bathroom and walk this way.

But all she did was smile and grab a little carton of orange juice out the fridge only to go back in our room.

Joseph had left already so I truly had no one to talk to. All I had was me and my thoughts.

It's been like two weeks. And I've already been through scolding by everyone and apologies from Adam. He didn't know what my father did.

This environment was becoming real hostile and my birthday is in 3 weeks. And it looks like I'm not gonna be able to enjoy it.

I put her pancakes in the microwave and threw my paper plate in the garbage. I walked to the bathroom where my clothes were and took a shower and got dressed. It was getting cold again so I would be going out to get winter stuff today.

I walked in my room to grab my phone that was on the charger and my keys.

"I'm going to the mall. Care to join?" I asked her.

"No thanks" Cheryl said keeping her eyes pinned to a book she was reading that didn't look like an ordinary book.

"What are you reading?" I asked but Cheryl didn't answer.

I looked at the red cover harder and saw she was reading the dictionary.

"So this is how you're gonna try to avoid me? What the fcuk?" I said just simply letting the anger rage on as I turned around and walked out of our room then our home.

My phone started to ring as I got downstairs to the lobby. I decided what a wonderful day to check the mail. And answer my phone.

"Hello" I answered looking for my mailbox.

"Mommy" I heard what sounded like Luke's voice. He was the only one I hadn't seen. They kept him away from me.

"Luke?" I asked.

"Yeah it's me mommy. I miss you a lot a lot" Luke said so cute over the phone.

"I miss you too Luke" I said finally finding the mailbox and opening it up only to see nothing but a package addressed to me and Cheryl.

"When can I see you?" Luke said.

"Uh. Now" I started to walk outside.

"No no no" I heard Adams voice.

"Adam what is your problem? I'm fine. I'm not running away with him"

"You can't see him" Adam said harshly.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because your dad's here"

Without thinking I immediately hung up the phone and just got in the car throwing the box on the seat.

I gripped my hands on the steering wheel angrily thinking about him but then I let then go as I thought about what he must be going through.

I jumped as I heard a tap on my window.