[Excerpt] Keeping Up Appearances

Chapter One

Today was the day. The day I finally told Jason how I felt. I'd remembered to put on my big girl undies, I'd chugged three cups of coffee to steel myself against the nerves that threatened to make me hurl – although, all that actually served to do was make the butterflies beat a slightly more violent samba on my ribcage – and I'd rehearsed what I was going to say to him for the last twenty-four hours.

I was ready.

I could do this.

"You just go up to him and you say the words. The good words. The coherent words." I mumbled the world's least inspiring pep-talk to myself as I walked into the school building.

I would have had no idea if anyone was saying 'good morning' or about to throw eggs at me. I was too busy keeping an eye out for Jason as I walked towards his locker. I forced my hands to relax out of the white-knuckle fists they'd balled themselves into and take a deep breath.

"You can do this," I muttered. "Nancy agreed it sounded fine. It's fine. You can–"

I stopped and felt someone run into the back of me. They said something distasteful, but I didn't hear what the exact words were as I was too busy having my heart ripped out of my chest and stomped on. I was pretty sure it was then set on fire for good measure and the ashes were scattered prettily on a vat of acid.

Somehow, despite all that torture, the damned thing was still managing to beat furiously in my chest. It got far too hot and suddenly the air seemed far too thin. An inconvenient lump formed in my throat. I blinked, not believing what I was seeing. Surely, I was dreaming? I actually slapped my own cheek, but the image in front of me was still clear as day.

Seeing Jason and Nancy standing in front of his locker on a Monday morning was not an unexpected sight, it happened on a weekly basis. But, seeing Jason and Nancy in front of his locker with his hands on her hips, their foreheads and noses touching, and making goo-goo eyes at each other? That was something I'd only ever seen in my nightmares.

And, the universe didn't seem to think that was enough to throw at me that morning.

My heart stuttered to a stop – too despondent even for theatrics – when he pressed a kiss to her lips. It was a simple thing; chaste and sweet and completely appropriate for the school hallway. But, I felt that nausea threatening again and I took an involuntary step forward as if that was going to make any difference. I managed to drag my eyes off them for long enough to look around. No one seemed at all concerned that Jason and Nancy were kissing in the hallway.

Which only meant one thing.

Well, no. Actually it meant a multitude of things.

But, first and foremost, it meant that I was the last one to find out.

It also meant that the whole time I was going over my speech to Nancy in the last twenty-four hours – and she'd been telling me she thought it was great and building up my confidence, telling me I had to talk to him today – she'd been, what? Already...with him?

I felt sick and my eyes felt unusually hot and prickly.

Someone clapped me on the back and I looked over to see Nigel grinning at me. "JT and Nance finally got together at Teagan's! Pretty great, huh, Holl?" he asked, clapped me on the back again and walked off with a huge grin.

Teagan's party.

The party we'd boycotted on Saturday night because Teagan was one of the Bows and we hated them. Or, at least, I'd thought we hated them and I thought we'd boycotted her party. Apparently, I'd been the only one sitting at home on a Saturday night crying at bad rom-com movies in my pyjamas and stuffing myself with chocolate.