(Harry Potter Fanfiction) But Title Erased For Security Reasons

Chapter Nine

Hogwarts Castle, the Scottish Highlands

It was the first class he was to share with Professor Gilderoy Lockhart. Added to the fact that he was teaching fourth-year Gryffindors and Slytherins (including, perhaps, the unruliest bunch of students since the Marauders), it sufficed to say, Professor Tom M. Riddle wasn't looking forward to it in the least.

"Excellent, excellent! I, Professor Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, honorary member of the Dark Force Defence League, and five times winner of Witch Weekly's 'Most Charming Smile Award, will be your Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, and-" Riddle could hear the blonde ex-Ravenclaw's loud voice from outside the classroom. He entered discreetly, swearing to himself that he was going to wait quietly for Lockhart to make a fool out of himself.

"We'll start our classes with a little pop-quiz, just to know how you've read from my books." Lockhart began handing out question papers, and the boys groaned. Girls seemed to be blushing and swooning every now and then. Riddle snatched a question paper from the nearest table. His brows nearly met his hairline in his disbelief.

Just how much more narcissistic could Lockhart be?

"Gilderoy, I fail to see what 'What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favourite colour?' and 'When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday?' has to do with Defence Against the Dark Arts. Could you perhaps, enlighten me?" Riddle asked coolly, much to the delight of the Slytherin boys.

"Professor Riddle, I didn't see you there! I was just testing them, to see how much they know about me and my voyages. Would you like to write the test as well?" Lockhart beamed at the sight of the parchment in Riddle's hand.

"No, not really. I'd rather you teach the class something useful."

"Right you are, Professor Riddle! Now, if you'd assist me, we could demonstrate my grand triumph over the Romanian vampires. You can be Bertcz the Bloody, and I will tackle you like this-" Lockhart jumped at the other man, who promptly stepped back and amusedly watched Lockhart fall flat on his face. "Ah! Very wily, very wily indeed! But fear not, I shall get rid of this bestial vampire!" Lockhart began waving his wand and ducking to avoid 'Bertcz the Bloody' and his imaginary fangs. While the blonde hopped about in his buffoonery, Riddle extended his feet discreetly and tripped him. He had to admire Lockhart's perseverance; the tale did not end even after Lockhart had fallen down thrice.

"-and I pinned him down thus, ah! No, you shall not leech off me, vampire! I screamed thus and struck with my sword whence Svir the Sanguineous flew out with his brides-" Here Lockhart stopped and looked around to recruit students for his tale. He flashed his pearly whites upon the sight of the two Weasleys. "Come along, don't be shy! You can be Svir and Bertcz; Professor Riddle must be exhausted after getting bludgeoned..."

"Weasley, do me a favour and tell Peeves to drop a few dungbombs in his office, won't you?" Riddle asked a dishevelled George after double Defence Against the Dark Arts with Lockhart.

George beamed.

* * *

Riddle was back in the Headmaster's office. "You can't do this."

"Good afternoon, my dear boy."

"You can't make me share classes with that buffoon."

"Tom, you and Gilderoy could both learn from each other."

"The only thing anyone's ever learnt from his classes is to NEVER set free a cage of Cornish Pixies!"

"Ah, did he do that? That boy always had a flair for the dramatic. Would you like a lemon drop?"