House of the Damned

The Advice

Twenty-Three

The Advice

Lucifer is growing up fast. That’s how it feels anyway. He’s already seven months old. He’s crawling, which is both good and bad. That boy is into everything, I swear.

Michael and I work normal shifts now. We take Lucifer with us on alternating days. It’s not too bad to have him with me, but I have to watch him like a hawk. Like I said, he’s into everything. I can only imagine what the terrible twos are going to be like.

Ian and I are still working together. He’s great with little Luke, as I prefer to call him. I think being around a baby reminds him of Amelia, when she was that age. I know watching them together reminds me of how he interacted with his sister. It makes me miss the old days, back before I had ever known Venus, before I even knew demons existed, before I had ever sold my soul.

Mars is getting involved in his son’s life. He actually took Lucifer for a week and went somewhere. Venus went with. I have no idea where they went or what they did, but it was weird not having the kid around. Not only that, but we all had the house to ourselves for a whole week. Granted, nothing changed. We’re all too afraid to slack off, even when she’s gone. But it did mean some nice togetherness for Michael and me. They plan on leaving again for another week in four days. Not that it matters, aside from not having Luke around.

Michael has him today and I have kitchen duty with Emily. It’s been a long time since I’ve had kitchen duty with Em. Before Lucifer was born… Almost a year ago, in fact. Holy beejesus, time has gone by so fast.

We’re the only two people in the kitchen right now and we’re doing dishes. She’s washing; I’m drying and putting them away. She makes small talk while we’re doing this, asking general questions. I give general, not very enthusiastic answers.

And then she asks, “So have you and Michael had sex yet?”

And if I had been eating or drinking anything, I know for a fact that I would have choked on it. Her tone is so casual, like it’s an everyday question. I’m just thrown by the manner in which she asked and the fact that it was Emily, who might as well be my mom, who brought it up.

“I…uh…it’s…we…jeeze, Em…It’s kind of complicated.”

“So no, then. Don’t you think that’s rather odd, considering you’ve been together for almost a year?”

“We’re being careful,” I respond bluntly.

“Apparently. That’s good though. I’d rather you guys be overly cautious and live a long time than not be cautious enough and get killed. If you got pregnant, Venus would definitely know about you and Michael, and that’s assuming she doesn’t already.”

“I can’t,” I tell her, as I place a bowl into the cupboard.

“Can’t what?” she asks, handing me the next dish. I dry the plate and stand on my tiptoes to put it in the top of the cupboard. Sometimes I hate being short.

“Get pregnant. I can’t have kids.”

“Why not?”

I take longer than necessary to dry off this plate and can’t look at Emily as I answer. It’s a memory that I don’t like, one I prefer to pretend that I don’t have. “It’s a long story. It involves a stabbing and a trip to the hospital while I was homeless.”

“Jesus Christ, Cassie!” She looks horrified; I can see it in my peripheral vision, because I can’t look at her. I just can’t.

I shrug. “I should have known better. Don’t walk down the creepy alleyway at night. It’s pretty simple. I’ve never taken a shortcut since.” I seriously wonder what I was thinking that night. I’ve seen plenty of horror movies. Nothing good ever comes from the dark alley. But I was lazy and tired and I just wanted to get to the park so I could climb up into the old oak tree and sleep. The tree sure made one great bed…

“Does Michael know?” she demands, handing me another plate.

“No. My past just depresses him, so I don’t bring it up.” If I could be just two inches taller…

“Then don’t tell him the depressing part. But you might want to tell him that you can’t have kids,” she suggests. This time she hands me a bowl, so I don’t have to stretch to put it up. Yay, bottom shelf!

“Why?”

“In light of that information, he might not be so careful. In fact, it’s more than likely that concern that has stopped the two of you from getting that far in the first place.”

I pause in the midst of drying the dish, contemplating her statement. “I’ll keep that in mind,” I inform her as I put the bowl in the cupboard. (Again, yay, bottom shelf!)

“You might want to. So how’s Lucifer doing?” she asks, changing the subject to something much less awkward. I pounce on the new subject, grateful for the change, and begin rambling about the kid.

The look on her face as I talk tells me that she finally understands my attachment to him. He’s the closest I’ll ever get to having a child and she understands that, because she won’t be having any either.

Well, not unless I find those contracts and burn them. She’d be an older mother, but it’s still not too late for her to have kids. Emily would make a great mom, too.

As if I need more reasons to go burn the contracts. Apparently, saving Kate and Richard’s souls wasn’t enough. Now I need to add, ‘wanting Em to be able to be a mom,’ to the list.

I wonder if her fiancé waited for her. Actually, I wonder what he thinks happened to her. Does he think she’s dead? Or that she ran out? I wonder if Kate would know… Apparently, I wonder a lot.

We finish in the kitchen. Actually, we’re done a little early. I go find Michael, upstairs in the meeting room, and take Lucifer off his hands. He’s glad that he can focus on the job at hand without worrying about Luke getting hurt. Apparently, the table broke and Venus decided that Michael should fix it. He looks pretty attractive with the toolbox, doing all the hard work. Emily’s advice crosses my mind again…

I take Luke to the kitchen and get out a jar of baby food, carrots to be specific. I plop him down in the highchair, put the bib on him (he’s a super messy eater), and begin to feed him. He likes carrots, so they don’t go everywhere, but it’s still a mess. Not as bad as peas, though. He refuses to eat them, and if I can get them into his mouth, he just spits them back out. He’s a picky kid.

He finishes eating and I take him upstairs and wash him off. Even with the bib, he still managed to get carrots on his clothes. I don’t know why I bother.

We go to my room and I put him in the crib, he actually sleeps there now, and I tell him a story. Cinderella, in fact. It’s the only one I know really well. He’ll have it memorized before he can walk, as often as I tell it. He falls asleep halfway through it.

I lie down on the bed and think about what Emily told me. Then I think about how Venus will be gone in four days. And she and Mars are taking Lucifer. In four days.

In four days, we’ll have some time to be together. And alone. Truly and completely alone.

Four days.

I smile and realize, I can’t wait.

Four. Days.

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A/N: Awkward conversation with Cassie's mom figure. XD I love it. Happy reading everyone!