It had been 5 years since Jack had died from cancer. I still hadn’t fully recovered. I hadn’t found anybody new because I didn’t believe that there was anybody else out there for me that could love me in the same way that Jack did. My mum had cared for me every single day and I knew she was heartbroken every time I mentioned his name or just started to cry out of the blue. I wasn’t quite sure what I was going to do with my life. I’d had plenty of time to decide, 5 years to decide in fact. It didn’t feel like I could do anything though. Every night I lay in bed pretending that Jack is beside me, arms locked firmly around my chest and the scent of him flowing around me. I still felt his grip on my hand every day of my life. Of course my hand felt empty, but it still felt like he was there.
I wondered if he was actually watching over me and could see me sitting in sorrow and not doing anything that would make me happy. I’d finished school a couple of months ago and since then I’d sat at home. I hadn’t got into the college I wanted to due to my grades being too low to be accepted. I never focused on my schoolwork after Jack’s death. I couldn’t concentrate and it knocked me. The only good thing that happened to me after Jack passed away was that I stopped getting bullied. They’d obviously heard the news and felt sorry for me, leaving me to drown myself in my own sadness and hoped that would destroy me. I wouldn’t say I’m destroying myself slowly though, even though I’d like that to happen. I just don’t know where I’m going or what I’m doing with my life.
I always went down to the spot every night where Jack and me used to sit under our star. It calmed me, but I still never became as happy as I used to be when he was around. But, as I look up into the sky at night and I see our star I smile, because I know for a fact that he will be looking down on me in some form. I knew he’d want me to stay strong and I knew he’d be proud of me for staying sane for 5 years. I wish he were still here though. I missed his hazel eyes which I longed to stare into every day. I just miss him…
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So Long Soldier (Jalex)
FanfictionAlex has to face moving away from London to Baltimore, Maryland in the USA and has to come to terms with making new friends at his new school. What he doesn't know is what this holds for him and what a boy called Jack does to his life...
