Still Soulmate

Chapter 11: A Lot to Think About

  Jon was stood on the cliff beyond the castle lost in thought when he heard the thunderous beat of wings. He had been thinking of Ygritte who he had barely spent any time with since they had reached Dragonstone, he had been thinking about their child and he had been thinking about Daenerys. The soulmates had been talking about the alliance that they were trying to form and Ygritte had began to rant about the dragon queen so Jon had jokingly said that she had her looks at least. That had earnt him a playful punch- which didn't mean that it didn't hurt.

  Now though there was a dragon flying towards him. The beast landed with a mighty rumble and strode towards him with a roar. Jon was terrified but also entranced. The dragon was close enough to touch and suddenly that's what he wanted to do despite the snarling teeth as long as his arm barely a pace from his face.

  The king removed his glove and, with a shaking hand, reached out. As soon as his hand came close, the dragon stopped snarling and instead Jon was able to place the flat of his palm fully against the rough scales under the dragon's nose. He let out a breath he hadn't realised that he had been holding and ran the hand along the scales.

  After what seemed forever but could only have been a moment, Jon took the hand away. The dragon turned then as Daenerys stepped to the ground and flew off  with a massive gust of wind which wiped Jon's cloak around him.

  "They're beautiful aren't they?" Daenerys asked after coming to stand beside him.

  She was looking over at the dragon as he joined his brothers but she returned her gaze to him when he replied. 

  "It wasn't the word I was thinking of but..." he started before rethinking at her almost disgusted look, "but yes, they are. Gorgeous beasts."

  "They're not beasts to me," was the queen's reply as she looked back to the circling dragons,"No matter how big they get or how terrifying to everyone else, they're my children."

  Jon couldn't help the judgemental look that must have crossed his face but it didn't matter, she was still to focused on her "children". For the first time he wondered if all of the bad that had happened in her past had addled her brain. The dragons definitely weren't her children and if she thought of them as that.. Sure he loved Ghost but Ghost was a pet, his friend sure but Jon was under no delusion that his friend was anything more than a beast. Sure he was smart and loyal but he was still just a beast. He knew that Ygritte would have been even more disgusted by the statement than he is.

  It was then that they started to move back towards the castle and Jon decided that they should really move the conversation on.

  "You weren't gone long," he sated because it was true.

  "No."

  "And?" because really, why did she have to make him push?

  "And I have fewer enemies than I did yesterday," she said, continuing after seeing his saddened expression to say," you're not sure how you feel about that."

  "No, I'm not." Because he wasn't. The lack of compassion that she said it with as if the lives that she and her army had taken were nothing.

  "How many men did your army kill taking Winterfell back from the Boltons?" she asked him pointedly.

  "Thousands," he said. All of which I wish I could have prevented he thought. War was war, people died and he wasn't naive enough to even hope otherwise. It didn't mean though that he couldn't regret it and Daenerys didn't seem to at all. He couldn't bend the knee to someone like that could he? Entrust his people and his kingdom to her rule? Old gods and new his wife was getting in his head. Not necessarily and bad thing though. 

    "We both want to help people," Daenerys continued, "we can only help them from a position of strength. Sometimes strength is terrible... When you first came here Ser Davos said that you took a knife in the heart for your people."

  "Ser Davos gets carried away," Jon replied quickly with a stiff smile. He hated thinking about that, about the scars and the betrayal and the empty feeling at the thought that there was nothing after death. 

  "So it was a figure of speech?" she asked obviously oblivious.

  At that moment though, Dothraki approached. That was when he met Jorah Mormont. The man had a completely different feel to Lord Commander Mormont, he wasn't the brave and courageous man that his father was. He wasn't the leader that Jon's tutor was. He could tell all of that in the few moments that he was there; the man was an open book.

***

  He got away from Daenerys and her faithful man as soon as he could, excusing himself politely. He just wanted to find his soulmate and bury his face in her hair.

  He found her where he knew he would on the edge of a cliff far behind the castle. She was sat facing away from him, hair wiping around in the wind. She was sat cross legged, face bent over a book, fingers clasping the edges tightly to keep the pages from blowing over.

  For a moment the king just stopped and took in the sight, for a moment he could forget the problems he was facing with the dragon queen and the Night King. Daenerys had mentioned his death earlier and it had got him thinking about the place after. There had been nothing and whereas before the thought had just terrified him now, standing where he was, he just thought that it was extra incentive to enjoy the life he had.

   For all of the sorrow that Jon had lived through he had still been blessed in the end. If he hadn't have died he would still be bound to his oath as a brother of the Night's Watch after all and he would never have really been able to have the relationship he did with Ygritte. He could remember so clearly the moment that he met her, pulling back her hood with a sword to her throat. He could remember how he had been so conflicted and he remembered how he had fallen slowly in love with his wild, beautiful and free-spirited  soulmate.

  Now he stood there completely head over heals. He was a husband and, in a few months, he was going to be a father. He had a whole kingdom of people to protect, he had family to protect. 

  In that moment Jon was determined that they would find a way to survive the army of the dead, even if that meant doing it without the support of Daenerys. He thought back to the dragon that he had touched, the beast had been so big and powerful and fearsome even as Jon had run a hand over its snout. Never in a million years did he think he would see a dragon let alone touch one, they would be a great attribute in the fight against the Night King but at the end of the day they were a painfully mortal as he was.

  "Jon," Ygritte greeted him then, turning a then standing with a bright smile on her face.

  She walked towards him as he stood watching, the book clasped in her hands. Jon knew that there was a soft smile on his face but he didn't say anything, couldn't really. He wondered what it would have been like if he had come back and Ygritte had stayed dead but quickly pushed the thought away finding it almost unbearable.

  He stepped forward as she got close, running a hand over her stomach and their baby which had become a habit recently. When they were alone together and she was naked the bump was beginning to show but her clothing hid it now and the two of them were still the only ones that knew. Not even Davos knew. Ygritte thought that it was pointless to tell a maester, the free folk didn't have maesters and she sure didn't need one, her choice didn't bother Jon at all. It felt special that only they knew about their new little life.

  The King in the North glanced down at the book that his wife was reading next. It was one about the tales of his ancestors, the Starks around the time of Bran the Builder. That made him smile. Over the months since Jon had become king he had been teaching her to read so that she could help him as his queen. Ygritte was a fast learner and she loved to read now.

  Looking deep into her eyes then he simply said, "I love you." He poured all of the love that he felt into it and she knew it, her smile widening as she gripped his jerkin and pulled him forward into a kiss.

  "If I wasn't so disturbed by those Dothraki that seem to be everywhere I would have you right here Jon Snow," she said with an almost predatory grin- the kind she wore when she stole Longclaw and ran off into that cave all those years ago. 

  Jon couldn't help but laugh at that.