The Tattooed Devil Wears Chucks

Chapter 28: The First

Jax.

I place Gabby into my bed. She smells like the cheap tequila she dumped down herself and is still covered in mud; so, there was no way I could put her anywhere else.  The hangover this girl will have in the morning will he unimaginable.  She's just going to have to sleep it off.  I sit in the bed beside her and watch TV as she sleeps.  If she was that pissed at me drunk, I don't know what she will be like sober.

This was my fault tonight. As much as I want to blame her or the guys who took her to the party, I did this. Once again, Jackson is a fuckup and destroys everything he touches. Now I see why Dan thanked me for ending our relationship. 

After a few hours, I lay on my pillow and watch her sleep. For the first time in a long time, she looks calm. She isn't carrying the weight of a sexual assault, or the town and her friends turning against her, or how I screwed her over.  Right now she is just Gabby Brooks, at peace.  Unfortunately, I know when she wakes this will not be the case. She is pissed and has every right to be. She loves me and I hurt her, multiple times.

The more I watch her the more sick I feel.  She is perfect.  She is witty, cocky, beautiful, intelligent — she's every guy's dream.  Even mine, especially mine.

I take the loose strand of hair from her her face and tuck it gently behind her ear, causing her eyes to flicker open. I watch her watch me, attempting to figure out where she is.

"You're safe," I whisper to her.

Her eyes flood with tears, causing my stomach to twist in the most unpleasant of ways. I have never seen a girl look so destroyed in my life and I did it. A moment ago she was peaceful.

"Gab..."

"How could you, Jax?"  Her lips tremble as she attempts to keep her composure, but it's no use.  Her tears spill from her eyes and I'm holding my own back with everything in me.

"I'm so sorry, Gabby. It was stupid. I had just come from talking to your dad and I needed to get you out of my head. She was at the bar dropping off Lily's homework and I thought it would help, so I turned on the charm and brought her home with me. She was just a game. Nothing else."

She sits up, holding her head as if she's already in pain from a few hours prior. I hand her my bottle of water from the night stand, but she doesn't drink it. Instead, she chucks it at me and it hits my shoulder.

"Fuck!" I rub my shoulder as the ache pulses though it.  I didn't realize a damn bottle of water could inflict so much pain.

"I woke up in your arms after your game ended!" she cries and stands from the bed. "I told you I wasn't ready to end it! I didn't want to lose you!"

I didn't want to lose her either.  She was getting too attached.  To be honest, so was I. She wasn't a game anymore, everything was becoming so fucked up.

"I had to end it, Books."

"Why? Why did you need to end it?"

She towers over me, waiting for her answer.  I can't even form a sentence.  I search my brain for the answer that is truthful that won't piss her off anymore tonight.

"Gabby, I -"

"Asshole!" Her face is red as she screams at me. I think half the neighborhood could probably hear it. "I loved you, Jax! And don't you for one second tell me you didn't feel the same! You looked just as heartbroken as soon as we started having sex!"

"Because I was heartbroken!" I yell back at her and stand so that now I'm hovering over her.

She stands there, startled at my outburst, and begins to breathe heavy. Her tequila stained Goo Goo Dolls t-shirt rises and falls quickly, she doesn't say a word.