HELPLESS LOVE ⇒ BILL DENBROUGH

blinded

y/n sat on her bed, wrapped around her pastel yellow duvet. she kissed stan and bill in less than twenty-four hours. she liked the kiss with stan but it didn't feel right. yet the girl doesn't know what's right at the moment. she feels like everything she's doing is bad and wrong. like her "dating" bill or catching feelings for him, kissing bill, and kissing stan. the girl didn't know what to do.

it was currently 7:43 am, and bill will be at y/n's at 8:10. just like usual. she decided to just keep the clothes on from before, they were still clean after all. y/n looked at her window, hearing the birds sing. "they just seem happier around you." stan would say whenever he's at her house.

"y/n? honey?" her mom's voice spoke through the hallway. "bill called, he said he's on his way." she added, speaking at the door. her mother not bothering to come in.

"okay mom, i'll be downstairs in a few," she replied, still looking at the window. once she heard the faint footsteps walking away, she got up from her bed. i should probably do my hair. i need to at least look presentable, or everyone is going to ask if something's wrong. she thought.

y/n pulled away from the comforts her bed had to offer. soon walking to her vanity where her makeup and hair products are founded. the girl sat down on the chair and looked at herself in the mirror. she didn't look bad, just had some bags under her eyes due to lack of sleep. also, her hair was a mess.

after a few minutes, y/n's hair had a braided crown. nothing too extra but nothing too plain. it was one of her go-to looks if her hair wasn't cooperating. she decided on no makeup today, before grabbing her backpack and leaving her room.

"hey bill," she said smiling softly at the blue-eyed boy.

"hello my b-beautiful girlfriend," he said, bringing her to an embrace. y/n hesitatingly wrapped her arms around the boy. from what happened in the previous events taken place in less than three hours, she felt so wrong and bad. she just hopes bill doesn't ask what's wrong. she just doesn't want to hurt him.

-

"you haven't r-really talked to me a-all morning, y/n." bill spoke, walking faster to catch up to the h/c haired girl. yet she kept walking faster. "i-is it something i d-did?" his question, his voice becoming hushed. he was hurt, not just because she isn't talking to him but because she won't tell him why. they are close anyway, she can always trust him. no matter what.

"it's nothing bill, i'm just tired. okay? you did nothing wrong." she reassured, and all that bill did was nod.

"i have t-to go to ca-calculus," he spoke his head down to the floor. dragging his feet down the hall. y/n knew she was going to crack, she needed to tell someone. beverly. she trusts beverly with anything, especially if it involves a boy. let's just hope that stan didn't tell anyone. y/n thought. she closed her e/c eyes and let out a long sigh before she made her way towards her fourth-period class. ap english.

-

y/n impatiently tapped her foot on the tile flooring of the hallway. she was currently waiting outside of beverly's classroom. the girl fiddle with her fingers nervously, yet she doesn't know why. beverly wouldn't judge me, right? like we're best friends and would tell each other everything, right? she would never hate me, right? she thought.

the bell roared through the school, signaling that it is lunch. y/n straightens her posture, watching as students walked out of the classroom. more like running. yet y/n wouldn't blame them, she hated beverly's, fourth-period teacher. she actually had the same class, then decided to switch because the teacher was so unreasonable and rude. and she glad she did that.

"y/n?" a voice asked. the girl shook off the thoughts and looked at her friend in front of her.

y/n smiled slightly. "if you're going to tell me you kissed stan, i already know. he basically told the whole group this morning. just expect for ben, eddie, and bill of course."

"w-what? why would he do that?" she stuttered due to shock.

"the real question is why did you do that? if bill finds out he's going to be hurt. especially since you kissed him not that long ago." beverly said, her brows furrowing. she was wrong, her best friend would judge her and hate her

"i...i don't know. it all happened in the moment. i know it was wrong, i don't even know why i did it." she said, her gaze shifting to the ugly brown colored tiles.

"you're so stupid, oh my god!" her friend replied, gripping onto her own ginger hair.

"can we talk about this somewhere else? people are looking." y/n suggested, glancing at her friend.

"fine," beverly replied, taking hold of y/n's wrist. leading her to the girls' bathroom. "so tell me everything."

"well stan called me late at night, we were talking for about a good ten minutes then he suggested going on an adventure. which i said yes, it was something we liked to do during sleepless nights. so he took me up this pretty high mountain to look at the view and watch the sunrise. after while i fell asleep, but he woke me up just in time to see the sunrise. and then we kissed. that was it. it was just one kiss." y/n exclaimed.

"do you like bill?" beverly asked. totally ignoring all the information told to her.

did y/n like bill? of course she did. he was always so sweet to her, he helped her through a lot of heartbreak in middle schools and the beginning of high school. he did so many things for her she can't count them all. she can memorize all the memories, however. all the countless phone calls even when she sounded a little bit upset. he was always going to comfort her to the best of his ability.

a girl gasped. "bill's in love with me."

"w-what? how do you know?" beverly asked, shocked.

"i can think of everything that bill has done for me, he treated me kindly even if i did things wrong. he always got me small presents randomly. he likes me bev. and i was blind." she said, her eyes widen.

beverly nodded. "yeah he liked you for some time. that's also a reason why me and bill didn't work out. i found out about his little crush on you...but y/n. do you like bill? do you really like bill?"