of secrets and sadness

2

Hera woke with a start, having accidentally fallen asleep at the controls. She groaned and rubbed her face, not fully rested but awake enough to be awake for good. Glancing at the clock, she let out a sigh as she read the time. Four in the morning is too early to be awake, she thought to herself as she stretched before standing up. Might as well get started with what I can do.

The Twi-lek slid down the ladder the way Sabine had taught her, hands and feet on the outside so you land lighter. Maybe some caf will help wake me up. She walked through the common room on the way to the kitchen. A note caught her eye. Hera immediately knew who it was from.

After reading what Ezra had written, she thought for a minute about what to do. The crew had been rather harsh on him, and he probably didn't want to be around us - especially Kanan after the fight they had yesterday. She decided to wait until the rest of the team woke up to tell them rather than wake them up at this ungodly hour of the morning.

The rest of the group was up within a few hours, being used to waking up early for missions. Hera called a meeting in the common room, bright and awake from being roused from her sleep. "I found a note this morning from Ezra. He says he's gone to think things over and that he'll stay in contact. I know you all are mad at him from yesterday, but I don't know what time he left or where he is so if it comes down to it, we're going to go find him." The look on Kanan's face darkened slightly from where he stood in the corner of the room.

Zeb grumbled, not quite fully awake. "He wants his out, so he's got it, right?"

Hera smacked him. "Garazeb Orrelios, Ezra is a good kid and he made a mistake. We all make mistakes. But we're all alive and that's what matters. Now go eat so you'll stop being so dang grumpy, and keep your comms on."

---

The day went on as usual days off did. Sabine was painting in her room, Zeb was napping, Kanan was meditating, and Hera and Chopper were fiddling with the controls of the Ghost. Only when the automatic lights came on did Hera realize how late it was.

Calling another meeting, this time in the cockpit, the captain asked if anyone had heard anything from their youngest member. Everyone shook their heads no.

"Sabine, you take a speeder and go towards his old tower. Zeb, you take a speeder into town and see if you can find him there. Kanan and I will stay here. We need to talk about what happened."

The teenagers guided the speeders down the ramp and set off. As soon as they were out of earshot, a very angry Twi-lek turned to the Jedi and started talking in a pissed off tone. "Kanan Jarrus, do you know what that kid has been through? And then you pull a low blow by pointing out that his parents are dead, which he only found out about a few weeks ago? That's not okay by any means. He's just a kid. "

"Kid or not, he blatantly disobeyed me, and nearly killed half of our crew, not to mention how reckless he's become lately! If he's going to keep this up, maybe we need to reconsider bringing him on."

"You don't even know what happened. You haven't even given him a fair chance to explain what happened."

"What happened was he blew up a lot of supplies we could have used, along with nearly killing the rest of us. I'm starting to regret bringing him on board."

"You know he wouldn't sabotage the mission just because he felt like it. There's something else there, alright?" Hera said, trying to be gentler though still thoroughly pissed.

"I'll figure out what happened after the kid gets back safe," Kanan said, rolling his eyes slightly.

"We might have to go pick the kids up. I'm going to the cockpit. You can join me or not."

---

Miles away, Ezra climbed up to his tower. He stood on the landing, outside of the rail, looking out over endless plains of grass and feeling the wind in his face. His arms ached and dripped blood freely.

All the times he had messed up, made a mistake, or gotten someone hurt echoed around his mind. The fading sun lit up his face in a soft orange glow. He couldn't stay here.

Maybe life isn't for everyone, he thought, and let go into a freefall.