눈발 (A Stray Goat), The Sequel

Chapter 03 / Yejoo

December 2015

"Where will I be going?" I asked father. "And why just me?" He continued to stare blankly at the wall across from him. I kept my eyes on him, waiting for an answer. I felt confused as to what he was implying.

"You should leave," I hear him say.

"What do you mean?" I ask him. "I have nowhere to go."

"You'll be going to Seoul. I've already made arrangements for mother's sister to come get you at the train station. They will be expecting you."

I was at a loss of words. I couldn't understand what he was saying.

"So pack up your things," he said. He stood up from the foot of my bed and began walking towards the door. I just watched him walk. But I also wanted to say something to him too. Just before he could step out, I spoke.

"Dad... why are you doing this?" I asked. He stopped in his tracks. He didn't say anything. "You know... for the last few years, I've stayed by your side... and I never ask you for anything. Why are you making me leave?"

I watched as he let out a sigh, exhaling his breath through his nose. He turned around to face me. "Yejoo-yah," he started. I just stared at him, waiting for him to give me a response. "... please, just do as I say."

What? That's all he has to say? No explanation? Just as he was about to turn around to leave again, I spoke up. "Why don't you ever want to talk about what happened to mom?" I asked.

He didn't move, and was silent again.

"... why did you make this decision without my consent anyways?" I waited for him to answer, but there was no answer. Feeling fed up with the silence between us, I spoke again. " ... are you just gonna keep ignoring me?" I asked.

"Yejoo-yah!" father yelled out.

"What?!" I snapped.

His expression was angry. "Please... stop that." He breathed heavily, and made eye contact with me. "I don't want to talk about your mother..."

I don't know why, but I felt angry. I wanted to cry and scream. I've lost everything. Mom isn't in the picture, and father doesn't seem to care that there is only ever silence between us. He doesn't even know that I'm hurting! Why didn't he want to talk about mom? She didn't ever do anything wrong! And Minshik... that jerk... why did he abandon me?

I didn't want to cry in front of father though. I held my tears back, swallowing the throbbing pain in my throat from coming out.

"Hurry up and pack your things," he said scoldingly. "Or you'll miss the bus!"

Refusing to listen to him, I yelled again. "I don't understand why you don't want to talk about mom! I don't understand why you're making me leave! What did I ever do to you to make you like this?! Are you just gonna push me away?! Because that's the one thing you're really good at!"

"Just do as I say, god damn it!" father snapped. I could tell that he was frustrated. It was silent again. All you could hear was heavy breathing from the both of us, trying to prevent ourselves from getting more angry. Father turned around, walking out and slammed the door behind him.

I wanted to cry, but I wanted to refuse feeling this way too.

"Fine then!" I yelled out. "If you want me to leave, then I'll leave!" I felt a tear drop roll down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away, but then another tear fell. I cupped my face and began to sob quietly.

Mom... I wish you were here...

I packed up all my things. I didn't know how long I'd be staying with aunty, but if father didn't want me here anymore... it probably means for a long time. I didn't pack up any of my bedding or toiletries though. I figured I could just buy new things when I got to Seoul. Father always gave me an allowance for doing well in school... whatever I had would just be my pocket cash. I could just get a job when I get to Seoul. I'm sure that aunty and uncle could help me out with that when I get there.

I put on my coat and socks. I was ready to leave. I took one last look at my bedroom, exhaling a breath through my nose. When I opened my bedroom door, there were two tickets on the ground. One for the bus, and one for the train.

I guess... this is it.

I walked out into the living room. The place was empty and quiet. Father must've left for work. I felt angry... upset. After crying already, I didn't want to cry anymore. If father refused to say goodbye, then I refuse to see him too.

After putting on my shoes, I made my way to the bus stop. I was headed to Seoul. This means... it was good bye to Goseong. I'd no longer be in the Gyeongsong Province. (a/n: in Nunbal, Goseong is the name of the city that Minshik & his family moves to at the beginning of the movie. they moved from Suwon—which is like, the suburbs, outside of Seoul—to Goseong. Goseong is in the Gyeongsang province, which is about 125 miles/200 km away from Seoul.)

I spent most of my adolescent years here. It was during my second year of junior high when we moved here from Seoul. Grandpa wanted dad to take over his water business. He was getting old and was going to retire... but Seoul—it was always somehow a magical place for me. At least... in my memories, mom made it seem magical.

I made it to the bus stop. I looked at the time of my watch, reading 08:08. The bus should be here in two minutes. It was extremely chilly though. I brought my hands to my mouth and breathed into them, rubbing them together to warm up.

This cold weather reminded me of Seoul. The chilly breezy air was what made the weather like Seoul—minus the fact that it didn't ever snow here in Goseong. Mom said that if it ever snowed here, it'd be like a miracle... 'a miracle from God' are her words. I felt a small smile come to my face as I pictured the sound of her voice. She always called me that too, saying that I was her miracle child.

Mom said that when we moved here, it would be the snow that she'd miss the most about Seoul. That enlightened my heart a little, cause then I'd have something to look forward to when I arrived. Thinking about Seoul made me miss her though...

(a/n: if you guys remember from the film, yejoo talked about how it didn't snow in Goseong to Minshik. i researched on it & it's because it's a very dry climate/area of sk.)

I guess Seoul really was a magical place. It was where things were better. Maybe going to Seoul without father would be a good thing. I felt a bitter sweetness sink in. Despite the fact that it was freezing, I actually felt a little relieved that I would be leaving this place. I breathed in and let out a breath, soaking in the peace that I could get.

By now, school would've already started. I felt bitter thinking about school. Everyone was not kind to me...

I could hear the bus from a distance. As the bus approached, I readied myself to get on. I got on the bus and gave the bus driver my bus ticket. As I scanned my eyes for empty seats, there weren't too many people on it. There was a child and mother, along with an elderly couple. Both were seated on both sides of the bus. I decided I'd sit in the very back row as my journey would be a long ways from here. When I reached the back, I set my suitcase down into the empty seat next to me.

"Eunbyul-ah, look! It's snow!" The mother with the child sat just a few seats ahead of me, and pointed a finger to the window. I wondered why she exclaimed such odd news to her child. The child was maybe just about 3 or 4 years old. Seeing them together reminded me of mom. I started thinking about the first time I saw a snowfall. It snowed every year in Seoul, but I think the first time I actually remembered it was when I was probably around the same age as that little girl Eunbyul there.

"Snow?" I hear the sweet child's voice say, almost like she didn't know what that word was. She climbed into her mother's lap as they both looked out the window in awe and amazement. I looked out to the window beside me. I couldn't tell if it was snowing or not; my window was foggy. I pulled up my sleeve to my hand, making a fist with it and began wiping the window. It wasn't pure white outside, but I could see the little tiny flurries.

I could hear the mother's voice as I looked out the window. "You see the little white flurries that are falling?" She said to her little Eunbyul. "That's what you call snow." Wow... it's actually snowing in Goseong. I guess this a sign from God—a miracle... I was overcome with nostalgia, and it blankets me with peace.

"Well, what do you know," I hear the elderly man speak. "It's snowing in Goseong! It must be a miracle!" I could hear the cheer in his voice as he looked to his wife, smiling a sweet smile to her. I felt a small smile on my face as I looked at the sweet old couple.

It really is a miracle.

"Perhaps the city of hardness will become softened once again," the elderly woman said to her husband. He smiled and nodded in response. She leaned her head onto his shoulder, and he leaned his head onto hers, gently embracing her.

(a/n: at the beginning of Nunbal, minshik's father speaks to him in the car about how 'goseong' got its name because it's a city that has hardened. 'goseong' is translated as 'hardness.')'Perhaps'—a word meaning uncertainty, but also possibility. Perhaps... this is goodbye. Perhaps... this... is my miracle.(a/n: the significance of the snow is important to the story, as the word 'nunbal' itself is translated as "snowflake, snow, snowflurry.")

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