Hello, Stranger (COMPLETED)

01

These past few days, I find it hard to continue my life, get off from my bed without knowing what will I do and for what this life should spend of. I'm so drown to noise--drown with silence.

I feel empty but heavy at the same time. I was thinking too much but those thoughts that I had are just nonsense things.

I was overthinking everything and for what? I don't even know! Is this right? That I exist in this world? Because it felt... it really felt like my existence was wrong. I should have not live. This life time is not right for me.

This life is not for me...

I stood on the cliff of this long bridge and breath deeply.

Should I do this? No one will know if I do this because the night is dark, the road is empty. Well, there are some cars but they don't care about me either. No one will know, no one will notice. I will disappear peacefully.

If I will do this, I will be happy. All I have to do is to jump. I have to stop my mind and soul from drowning to noise and silence and just drown my body in water. Then after that, I'm going to find happiness...

I felt dizzy when I looked down. It seems so deep, seems so dark. I'll die if I jump there. This nervousness that I am feeling right now will vanish.

But why am I feeling nervous with the idea that anytime from now, I'll die? Killing myself will stop the pain, the emptiness and the heaviness that I have at the moment.

"You don't want to do that," kalmadong wika ng isang boses.

Nagulat ako sa biglang nagsalita dahilan para ma-out of balance ako at napabalik ako sa katinuan ng isip ko.

Fuck!

Dahil wala akong balanse ay tuluyan na akong nahulog sa tulay. Sinubukan kong kumapit pero 'di na inabot ng kamay ko.

But his hand is holding mine...

Halos lumuwa ang mata ko habang nakatingin sa lalaking may hawak sa kanang kamay ko. Ang lakas na rin ng kabog ng dibdib ko kasi mamamatay ako kapag binitawan niya ako.

Pero ang mukha niya, kalmado lang. He looks like he don't care on what will gonna happen to me after this.

"H-huwag mo 'kong bitawan," nauutal na sabi ko. Hindi ko magawang alisin ang tingin ko sa kanya at ganun din naman siya sa 'kin.

"Why?" he asked na may halong pagtataray pa sa 'kin. Ang baba ng boses niya.

Napalunok ako at umiling sa sobrang kaba. "K-kasi hindi ako marunong lumangoy. Malulunod ako."

"But that's what you want to happen, right?" sabi niya pa sabay luwag sa pagkakahawak sa 'kin kaya mas hinigpitan ko ang pagkakahawak ko sa kanya. Kapag bumitaw ako sa kanya, o siya sa 'kin, mamamatay ako.

Hindi ako p'wedeng bumitaw sa kanya!

"Ayoko! 'Di ko pala kaya!" I shouted and cry for Pete's sake, I need to live!

"Okay. Hold on. I'll save you," tugon niya at muli niyang hinigpitan ang pagkakahawak sa kamay ko at hinila na ako paakyat.

Ginawa ko lahat para makaakyat ako ulit at nang maging ligtas na ako, sinunggaban ko siya nang mahigpit na yakap habang ako, humahagulhol pa rin dahil sa takot at saya.

Hindi ko alam kung paano mag-papasalamat sa kanya. Hindi ko sinasadyang magpakamatay. Hindi ko dapat tinangkang gawin 'yun.

"Let me go. You can't hold on forever," malamig na sabi niya kaya binitawan ko agad siya at yumuko para magpunas ng luha.