Maybe I'm Not Worthless (Park Jimin x BTS Fanfiction)

Chapter 1

Jimins pov

"Honey, you're going to be late if you keep sleeping!" My mother yelled as she shook me awake. I groaned and turned over. After a few minutes she gave up and left the room. As I tried to fall back asleep, I went into deep thought. Honestly, I didn't care if I missed school today. It was pure torture but I couldn't tell my mom that. All she'll do is worry and try to get the school involved. The school doesn't care. They just watch as I get beat up in the hallways, the classroom, the lunchroom, even the bathroom. They don't care about me, nobody does. Besides, my mom is constantly busy. I can't have her worried about me when she goes on her super long business trips, and she gets paid so much she can't quit her job to move us because I'm getting bullied. It's better my mom doesn't know anything.

I sighed, slowly opening my eyes. I screamed as I felt water pour on top of my head, soaking the pillow underneath. "MOM!" I screamed jumping out of bed. "Well you wouldn't get up," she shrugged. I stood there stunned and shivering before I ran to my bathroom to take a warm shower. Well actually, I tumbled the entire way to the tub. I found it a waste of time to wear my glasses only to walk  5 feet to the bathroom. I usually tripped over the door stop or the mat and nearly fell to death, but I stopped caring about hurting myself a long time ago. I stopped caring about myself at all a long time ago.

Once I made it to the bathroom I locked the door behind me and took my shower, trying to ignore the thoughts about the day I had ahead of me. Once I got out I dried my hair with a towel and glanced in the mirror. Everything was still blurry but even I could tell I was hideous. I left the bathroom, putting my glasses on before opening my closet. I grabbed my school uniform out of the closet and shut the doors. I never ironed my uniform like I was supposed to, I didn't want to look like I cared too much. But the truth is, I loved uniforms. Mostly because they stopped kids from making fun of my clothes, and they had long sleeves so I didn't have to constantly check and make sure I didn't show any scars. Anything with long sleeves was better for me.

I wanted to postpone school as much as I could so I got out my flat iron and straightened my blonde hair. It didn't make it look good but it made it look.... better. I unplugged the iron and threw it back on the counter when I was done. I put on some socks and some black vans before going back into the bathroom. As I brushed my teeth I realized I had visible bruises on my face. I must have rinsed the rest of last night's makeup off when I showered because if my mom would've saw she would've screamed. I was usually not one to skip foundation first thing in the morning after my shower but today I must've had other thoughts on my mind. I quickly used a foundation brush to apply my drug store foundation all over my face. Once I could see that all of the bruises were covered,  I started on my eye shadow and my eyeliner. One of the first things the kids made fun of me for was my small eyes. I had watched videos on how to use eyeshadow and eyeliner to make my eyes look bigger, and after a bunch of tries I began to feel it worked. It even gave me just a tiny shred of confidence when I needed it the most. But, usually by the time school started I realized that whatever I did I would still look horrible anyways, kids wouldn't say it if it wasn't true right?

"Jimin hurry up!" My mom called downstairs. I took one final look in the mirror. 'You're hideous and you don't deserve to be treated any better, I mean, after all you're worthless right?' it felt as if the mirror spoke back to me. I tried to erase the negativity in my head as I quickly grabbed my backpack and walked downstairs.

I tried to rush past my mom but she caught me. "Jimin don't leave without your breakfast," I met her eyes with a huge smile on her face. No matter what I did I could never say no to her. I got up to the table where she set eggs and pancakes out for me. "Ok Jimin I'm leaving for work dear, you know I love you right?" she said grabbing her stuff and giving me a kiss on the cheek. "Love you too mom," I muttered faking the best smile I could for her.

As soon as I heard that door close I ran to the trash can and threw away everything on the plate. I'm constantly made fun of for my weight, maybe if I get skinny enough they'll leave me alone, or at least make fun of me a little less. I looked at the clock and realized class would be starting in about 40 minutes. I quickly rushed out my backdoor hiding in the bushes as I saw the BTS members walk down the street. As soon as they were out of sight I made a break for the school through the forest route instead. It was tiring having all of the members living across from me, but they've been there for my entire life so I didn't expect anything different. Well, Namjoon has lived there at least. The other members slowly moved in as the years passed.

I hated it, as soon as the bullying started a few years back I've alway had to go through my backdoor and through the forest behind my house so that they wouldn't see me and beat me up. It took longer but I couldn't say I was upset about having to take the longer route, at least it was there as an option and this way I didn't get beat up until I actually got to school. I just wished that today we weren't both running late, and I wasn't forced to make a quick break through the forest in hopes that I could get to class in time. There was a chance though, as being chased by bullies everyday made me an excellent runner. I could probably be the top star of the track team, that is if any of them liked me enough to let me join.

After about a 30 minute run I made it to the school doors. I ran up the steps and peered through the windows to see everyone quietly chatting in their friend circles. I scanned the hallways and I didn't see any of them at the moment. Taking a chance I closed my eyes, prayed for a miracle, and pushed my way through the doors.