To Bloom Again

3

Violet

The world stopped as our eyes locked my words dying in my throat as a feeling I never thought I would ever experience again filled my being powering through the last of the sedative and releasing my wolf into my body fully. She howled in ecstasy the feeling flooding through my entire body in waves as my eyes stayed locked with the alphas. He was the first to break from the spell his face contorting in heartbreak. His look made me feel as if a bucket of cold water had suddenly been dumped on me. A realization of what just happened hit me and my own face contorted in a similar fashion as I hunched over in pain clutching at my chest.

This alpha was my second mate. A dry sob escaped my lips, second mates weren't supposed to happen. The term soulmate had a literal meaning, the mate of your soul, the missing piece to your puzzle. The story went that each pair of mates was a perfect match paired together by our goddess. They would find each other again and again through every iteration of their lives, every reincarnation of themselves they would be together. Second mates happened when the goddess made a mistake, when despite what she had meant to be fate these souls clashed and wouldn't bind properly ending in misery time and time again until eventually the goddess noticed and freed these souls from their eternal pain by breaking the first match and pairing them with another. A sick sense of hopelessness filled me as tears leaked from my eyes.

I wasn't good enough for him. I had never been good enough for him. I would never be good enough for him. If the goddess had paired me with another it meant my soul had never worked with Alexanders. It meant that we had never truly been meant to work with each other, that we had lived in misery for countless lives together never finding peace or solace in each others embrace. Sobs fell from my lips and I fisted my hair in my hands as my heart shattered. Who's to say this hadn't happened before, that my soul hadn't been through this pain before. Maybe this alpha wasn't my second mate, he could've been my third or fourth. If he was, if the goddess had made this mistake with me before what was to stop it from happening again. What was there to stop countless more lifetimes of pain, misery and longing. If I wasn't good enough for one mate there was no way I would be good enough for another.

My breathing became erratic as the more I thought on the subject the more my wolf fought me. She wasn't going to be denied another mate ever again, she knew what she was meant to be. She had been born to be an Alpha female in this lifetime and no human emotion would stop her from the happiness she deserved. With the last of the drugs quickly burning from my system I could feel my her fighting to the surface ready to claim what was hers despite what I or anyone else may feel.

I could faintly hear someone herding Millie from the room despite her protests of wanting to stay and help as my gasps turned to growls and whimpers. I fought so hard to remain in control, to make my wolf see reason. I was hurt and needed to heal she couldn't shift and damage our body further. But I was still so weak and she wanted her mate. With a final burst of effort I stopped the shift but by using my strength to do that she gained control of our skin.

Lately when my wolf was in control I disappeared, but this was different. I was like a passenger in my own body seeing through my eyes and feeling my emotions just not in control of what I did. I felt myself look up meeting the gaze of the alpha as a smile formed on my face. By his tense position I could tell that he knew my wolf was in control. My wolf took this opportunity to lock our mates appearance in our mind. He was tall even sitting in a chair, with a head of dark hair and piercing green eyes framed by full lashes he was the opposite of the blue eyed blond haired Alexander. I could feel my wolfs displeasure with my thought but I couldn't help but pick out the differences between the two.

Where Alexander had been built like a tank this man had a more lean appearance although he was still heavily muscled. Alexander kept his hair longer than most men usually in a tight ponytail at the nape of his neck. My new mates hair curled messily, kept cropped close at the sides and longer on top. He wore a long sleeved shirt tight against his chest and arms but still fitting reasonably. Alexander had always worn looser shirts claiming he didn't like the feel of most fabrics. Alexanders face had been rounder than this mans and his hands had dwarfed my own whereas it looked as though my hands would fit perfectly within my new mates.