She's So Gone

Prologue

Three Years Ago:

Deep breaths, Caroline, in and out. In and out, I thought to myself.  The pounding of my incessant heartbeat sounded behind my eardrums and I had to physically force myself to slow my breathing to keep a panic attack from taking over my body.

The cool summer breeze flitted across my body as I walked across the junior high school campus, filling me with both dread and excitement. I still had to endure the next couple of weeks of eighth grade, but then I would be as free as the hummingbirds and bees flying around me, the dual edged sword of pain and excitement of having to see him every day finally alleviated.

I couldn't wait to travel to New York for performance school and leave the tiny ass town of Bennettsville, North Carolina in the rear view mirror.

It wasn't as if I hated my life in my hometown, there were just certain people who made my life a living hell. A certain someone who just so happened to live directly beside me. It didn't help that he was one of the bullies that made fun of my weight and bifocal glasses that shared the same distinct style as my grandmother.  I had really bad eyesight.

My long strawberry blonde hair was done up in a messy ponytail or bun most days if not all, and I loved donning loose jeans and oversized T-shirt's more often than not.

I shoved all thoughts of him and my bad luck with vision and fashion sense to the back of my mind and made my way towards the school building, anxiously preparing myself for an exciting night of playing piano and singing by myself, the things that made me happiest in life.

I wasn't necessarily too fond of showing others what I could do, I tended to keep it a secret because of my shyness. I would, however, play the piano only for our school plays and talent shows, all behind the scenes of course.

With my feet hitting the concrete steps to my school's auditorium in a staccato rhythm, I quickly spotted my best friend, Jake, already seated in the first row.

Jake Herring, all American golden boy and my best friend since sixth grade, yes I maybe sort of had a crush on him. Okay, scratch that. I had a huge, monumental crush on him and I couldn't even tell him that I did without it ruining our friendship.

We met when we were paired to dissect a cow heart, and even though he was in the "popular" crowd, he still somehow noticed little old me.  A fact that I probably wouldn't ever forget. 

Dazzling blue eyes and sandy blonde hair greeted me as I hugged him quickly, and I soon noticed that we weren't the only ones already in the theater.  I wrapped my arms around his neck and he let out a soft chuckle, the soft scents of familiarity mixed with his rich cologne enveloped me and I felt like I was home.

"Oh get a room," griped the person I wished I never had to lay eyes upon ever again, motioning towards the embrace we were currently encircled in.

He was there. Kieran Robertson. My best friend's best friend, or better known as my mortal enemy who lived directly next door to me.

Inky black hair crossed over his forehead and swung into his gorgeously crafted green eyes. I could almost lose myself in them if I wasn't careful to remember the attitude and persona that was behind it. Standing at a solid six inches taller than my five and a half foot tall stature and still growing, he was the kind of male that everyone in our grade wished they could be.

Popular, athletic, tall and roguishly handsome like he stepped straight out of a GQ magazine even in junior high, who wouldn't idolize him? All the guys wanted to be him and all of the girls wanted to be with him. He already had high school figured out and was still in Junior High.

He always acted indifferent towards me whenever Jake was around, but as soon as it was just the two of us, his attitude made a complete one hundred and eighty degree tailspin and it was like he was a totally different person, sending me snarky, rude comments and acting like he was better than me.

I didn't bother to tell Jake about it because it wasn't like I couldn't handle my problems on my own, but when he was my next door neighbor it was hard to ignore him sometimes.

"Hey, what's up man?" Jake casually asked his best friend as he let go of me and went to give Kieran this weird bro handshake half hug thing while clapping each other on the back. I never understood why guys thought that made a hug more manly, a hug is a hug.

"Just came by to congratulate you on your part in the play, but also because you need to buckle up because you're going to be seeing a lot more of me lately," he said and I dreaded the words to come out of his mouth next.

"You didn't..." Jake said, as if he couldn't believe Mr. popularity and the all around jock star would audition for the school play.

"You're looking at the lead, Danny Zuko! Drama teacher told me to get with your girl and have her show me what to sing and all that."

All eyes turned to me and I visibly gulped, shaken by the turn of events. Breathe, Caroline, in and out.  In and out.  It was just Kieran, after all. What was the worst thing that could happen?

It was seriously a curse to say those words, even think them.  The worst that could happen never turns out to be what you thought it could be.

I merely nodded at him, unable to form words in my throat as I led him backstage where the piano and sheet music were kept, hyper aware of the heat at my back from his body following me so closely.  I spotted the piano in the corner and made a beeline for it, hoping that my fast pace would give him the idea to back up a little, but he was just as fast as me. 

I placed my hand on the piano to steady myself and let the black lacquer finish calm my raging insides as I reached for the sheet music on the stand.

"So this is the list of songs that we'll be doing, and you'll be in most of them. How familiar are you with the music already?" I asked him, unaware that when I turned around, he was already two inches away from me. My heart almost beat out of my chest.

"I can be very familiar with you if you'd like," he insinuated and I almost choked on my own saliva, electric sparks jumping between his chest and my blazing red cheeks.

"I-um, I don't think that's very-"

"Oh my god, you should have seen your face," he chortled out, laughing and carrying on whilst I was in the midst of a miniature panic attack. He was joking with me, pretending to flirt with me to get a rise out of me. Of course, why would he even bother with someone like me?  And what was I even doing, thinking that someone like him would ever even bother flirting with me?!

I tried to shake it off as I handed him the rest of the music, reminding myself that it was just plain old Kieran trying to push my buttons as he always had, but something about him was different that day.

Our hands touched briefly and I jumped back, surprised at the electric jolt that rushed through me as our hands connected.

"Practices are every other day after school and-what are you doing?!"

He was suddenly so close I could smell his cologne-and the alcohol on his breath. He was far too young to know where to be getting alcohol from. I put my hands against his chest to try to push him back from me, the electricity intensifying, but he only moved closer and I could see the trouble in his eyes.

I had never thought of Kieran other than one dimensional, only thriving when he was picking on someone else. I never thought that he could have troubles as deep as the ones I could see in his eyes in that moment.

But as quickly as it arose, it ended, the strange moment suddenly over as he backed away and acted as if nothing had changed, the rest of the day going about normally with his snarky and rude comments that I'd grown accustomed to. It wasn't normal for me, however, the constant blush never once leaving my face.

I never did see that side of him again over the course of the play as he made sure that I saw the nastiest sides of himself that I would ever see in my life.  One thing was for sure, I would never fall for a guy like him, especially after 'the incident'. 

Something happened that day, though. I had seen a different side to Kieran Robertson, and I was intrigued.