Clearblue

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Samantha

The following morning, my parents unveil a surprise. They bought a new 18 Camry and gift me their old Kia. Exactly what I had hoped for and I'm almost in shock from the surprise. I try my best to smile. They hug me and wish me happy late birthday. My dad shows me his poor attempt to clean the inside. I smile and thank him. I can't knock him for trying, even if it was half-assed, I guess. He didn't vacuum underneath the seats and there was garbage in the door compartment. Look at the bright side Sammy, I say to myself, I can drive myself to the Top now. It wasn't all bad.

I thought about Charlie. We hadn't talked in days and after her seeing me and Mitch yesterday, I'm pretty sure she hates my guts. I almost call her when Drew texts me. He want's know what I'm doing tonight.

"You," I text back with a winky face. But he never responds which seems weird so I text him again. "Did you need me to do something? Bj? xoxoxox jk." I can feel my heartbeat and I try to stay calm. I hope he isn't mad at me. I'm not sure what I did. Maybe the bj joke was too much? I'm not sure.

I have one, maybe two more texts before I start looking desperate, so I wait as long as possible despite the thought of him occupying ever part of my mind. I check my phone repeatedly. Nothing. Something is wrong but I don't know what to say. I try my hardest to leave it alone. I wait till I'm in my car driving before I say anything.

"Drew? Everything okay?" I text. I hate this feeling and the pit in my stomach grows deeper as I anticipate the worst.

I pull up to Charlie's house but her car is gone. I go and knock on the door and talk to her mom. She says Charlie went down to Bradley park for a walk.

I drive up to Bradley and start looking for her. I walk around for a bit but don't see her anywhere. It isn't till I'm headed back to the parking lot that I see her and Mitch. They're standing at the end of the lake hugging, their arms wrapped tightly around each other.

I'm somewhat surprised as I didn't know they were talking. I can't tell but it looks like she's crying, her face is nuzzled into his chest and his chin rests on her head.

The pit in my stomach drops out. I don't know what's going on but I feel like I've done something terrible.

Later that night, I lay in bed and text her.

"Hey," I say, "can we talk?" I stare at my phone what feels like an eternity.

"What's up?" Charlie texts back.

"Are you okay?"

"Fine."

"How are you?"

"Good."

"Can I call you?"

"I'm studying. Sorry."

I hate being the one to drag a conversation along but something is wrong and I just want to clear the air.

"If you don't want to talk that's fine, I'm just trying to make things right." I wait but she never responds.

"Hey, do you know what's wrong with Charlie?" I text Mitch to see if he knows anything. But he never responds.

I stop trying and just turn my phone on silent and go to bed.

I barely sleep that night and the next morning, I feel like I went 12 rounds with a Conor McGregor. I'm exhausted. The whole week is shit. Charlie avoids me, Mitch doesn't talk to me and Drew has disappeared. Not to mention my body has been achy and I keep getting headaches. Then the worst happens. Rumors started floating around that the school is closing down the TOP. It isn't until Friday that the principle makes the official announcement. Due to reports of illegal substance abuse, the TOP will be closed until cameras can be installed.

They put up a cone barricade and block it off. Everyone is pissed and a group of us start a petition to get the TOP reopened. We take it to the principal who basically dismisses our claims. So we decide to take it County Hall and talk to the mayor. We will not be stopped. We have rights and the TOP has been open to all students at PHS for over a decade.

I think I'm getting sick with the flu. My body has been aching a lot and I feel really sick in the morning. A couple of times I puke so I tell my mother I'm going to the urgent care to get checked out. She asks if she needs to go but I tell her it's fine.

After the nurse takes my vitals, I wait for the doctor. I feel dizzy so I lay back. The doctor comes in and we chat about the basics and cover everything.

"When did you start feeling this way?" She says.

"A few weeks ago, but it didn't really get bad until this week," I say.

"Are your breasts tender?" She says.

"Um, sort of," I say.

"Have you missed your period?" She says.

Anxiety hits me like a punch and my thoughts scramble. I can't think straight.

"Um, I'm not sure," I say. I realize I'm over a week late.

"Have you had a pregnancy test?" She says.

I'm almost floored by the question. That's impossible.

"That's impossible," I say trying to mask the panic in my voice.

"Are you sexually active?" She says.

"Well, I was," I say and my whole body starts to shake. I feel sick like I'm going to yack and my body goes weak.

"Multiple partners?" She says.

"Um," I say and don't want to think about this anymore.

"It's okay," she says.

"No. Just one, well two kind of," I say.

"What's kind of?" She says.

"I was with two but the second one couldn't finish," I say.

"So one for sure," she says.

"Yes," I say.

"Okay. We can do blood test here-" she says.

"No," I say, "I don't want to."

"It's not going to hurt. We can draw some blood and send it out to the lab and have results in a few days," she says.

"No thank you. I don't want to," I say.

"It's better to know," she says.

I can't contain the overwhelming feelings and I break down. She holds my hand as I cry. I can't talk even if I wanted to. She stays with me for a while and talks about my options and what I should do next. The LPN brings me a few pregnancy tests.

"Test these at home," she says then explains how to use them. One line on top and I'm not pregnant. Two lines I'm pregnant. One line on the bottom is an invalid test result. Or at least I think that's what she says, I don't remember. Everything is a daze.

I cry the entire way home. What is Drew going to say when I tell him? How is he going to handle it? I try to calm myself down but that doesn't really help. Everything will be fine. He will be a good dad. He already is. The thought of us raising our child together isn't so bad after all. I know I can be a good mother and with Drew there, he will be a good father. It's going to be okay.

I pee into a small cup and place the test strip inside for 5 seconds, then pull it out and lay it on the counter.

Maybe this is the start of our new family. Maybe Drew will leave that hag and we can raise our family together. Me, Lucy, Bobby, Drew and the baby. That's not such a bad thought. After all, he did say he loves me.

I try to control my breathing as I stare at the little white strip...

One line appears....

TO BE CONTINUED.

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