S I X

6 Y E A R S

6   Y E A R S:

The day I first met you, I had no idea that I'd love you for six years.

There was something about your goofy smile that drew me in. I feared your species because it was unknown territory to me. Yet something about you made me feel calm. A bit awkward at first, but calm.

That first day evolved into the first week and somehow I found the strength to talk to you. Being in the same class helped. Being locker neighbors helped. Being around your goofy smile helped.

You were my first and I had hoped that you would be my last.

You told me once that you had known, but to be honest, you never really knew how much I loved you.

Once, six years ago.

Suddenly I had to look up at you and realize that your voice had gotten deeper. Although puberty hit you like a truck, some things remained the same. The things that mattered the most to me: your goofy smile, your dumb jokes, your kind eyes that always read through me.

Suddenly I had begun to change as well, partly because of you. Each layer of my shell was slowly being peeled back and when that was exactly I can't remember, but I just know you did. Each layer revealed something different about me. Each layer that fell away made me realize how much I love you. Or loved you I should say.

Why? Because things are no longer the way they were six years ago. That love was one you only heard, but never truly listened to. I found myself comfortable with where I was. I didn't want to shed anymore layers. That would be much too revealing and I was never the scandalous type. I kept those layers, yet you seemed to keep shedding yours.

That first day became the first week which later became the first year. The first year was followed by the rather uneventful and motionless second year. I originally thought that was fine because it felt safe. But nothing is ever truly safe and my love for you was no exception.