Close To You | stenbrough

1.5

F L A S H B A C K:

S T A N L E Y

“You know du-that I didn’t bu-believe in y-you when yu-you said you’re okay, right?” Bill suddenly stated, before I look at him.

The thing was, Bill can see pass through me, he reads every movements I make and maybe that’s why I’m trying to back away from him because he reads too much and I don’t even know if he knows that I’m gay. After all he was my best friend but he never confronted me from it.

“I know you’re la-lying wu-when you scrunch y-your nose,” he laughed.

“Did I do that earlier?” Bill only nodded before chuckling. For a second, I look at him before he caught me staring at him. I didn’t even move my sight from his face, and neither was he. Before my mind could even process, he suddenly embrace me.

My head was on his chest as I kept on hearing his heart beat. I was stuck and shock, my thoughts was scattering and I can’t even pronounce a word. I could hear my heart was pounding on my chest and I felt my hands began to sweat even though there was an upcoming storm.

“Do I have to tell you?” I squeaked out, thanking that I didn’t buckle or stutter.

Bill chuckles as we just lay there. I didn’t hug him back, just let my hands rest on uncomfortably at my sides. I didn’t even notice the tear that slips into my eyes. I shut my eyes closed, trying to regain my composure without him noticing but as I sniff, Bill quickly spot me.

“Wu-wait, are you crying?” he asked.

“Huh? Me? Cry?” I laughed but he didn’t buy my pretending as he tried to break his embrace but I didn’t let him. My arms wrapped around his chest, tightly.

“Don’t du-deny that you’re h-hurting,” Bill said as he just patted my hair.

“I will try,” I whispered, “I-I just don’t want you to see that I’m crying, that’s all,” I sniffed back before he laugh.

“Nah, it’s o-alright,” his other hand tracing circles at my back. I breathe into his red shirt he was wearing before closing my eyes.

“Now, cu-can yu-you tell me your pr-problem?” he asked out of the blue. I didn’t open my eyes as I just shake my head.

“I think I can’t tell you right now… maybe the other one though,” I said. His hand stops on moving on my hair and my back.

“Wu-what other wu-one?” he asks out.

“The parent thingy,” I took a sigh before burrowing my head below his chest, “you know my dad, he wasn’t really that much fond of him—me neither. Earlier in dinner we fought again. Remember when I punch Henry Bowers because he was being an a-hole? The principal called my dad and knew my situation and then he drag the conversation to dinner. He said I was an embarrassment to my family’s name—“ Bill quickly interrupted me.

“You know yu-you’re not, I’m su-sorry o say this but your du-dad is a-an asshole,” I chuckled, “yu-you were protecting su-someone but he was on Bu-bower’s side. E-everyone knows h-he’s an ass.”

“My dad hates when I started the fight,” I sighed before he playfully hit my head.

“I-I don’t care,” he said as I imagine him rolling his eyes at me.

“Ju-just let me cu-comfort you even ju-just a minute, you been tu-taken a lot lu-lately,” he mumbles before I pull back a little and stared his comforting brown eyes.

“Am I?” I mumbled. He only nodded in response before he wrapped his arms around my head as I nestled into his chest.

_

Because of laziness and being half asleep, Bill decided to grab some of my pajamas and sleep in my bed while cuddling me like I’m his teddy bear. Instead of being comfortable around him and just sleep, I just lay there, in his arms, wide awake until I heard my alarm ring. I don’t know if I should be happy that I spend my entire night with someone that I like or feel like a horrible mess when I looked myself in the mirror seeing a zombie full of eye bugs.

I groan, pinching the bridge of my nose.

“God, you look hu-horrible,” I yelped before looking at the mirror, seeing Bill still half asleep as he yawn and stretches his limbs.

I chuckled, before opening the faucet. I let my hands feel the cold liquid before I splash the cold water into my face and cupped my face. Bill did the same.

“What tu-time is it?” Bill asked.

“It’s weekend Bill,” I said, rubbing a white towel to my face before I throw it to Bill.

“No, su-seriously, Bev and I have a du-date today mu-morning and I cu-cannot be lu-late,” he said, walking frantically back to my room and dress his usual. I was lucky to have a bathroom to my room.

The smile that was pestering me the other night began to fade, but I didn’t scowled thought; he might read it like the other night. I breathe, my hands were gripping the edge of the sink before I walk out of the bathroom.

“Still having a though relationship, huh?” I asked, seeing him wearing his converse.

He just nodded. I look at the alarm clock on my side table and saw it was almost nine.

“When is your date?”

“Nine,” he mumbles, still focusing on his laces.

“Do you know that girls are always late in a date?” I said.

“Not Bev though, s-she’s always in time,” he defended before he stood up and smile at me.

“Well, then, su-see you at s-school,” he said and in seconds, he uses my window (again) as an exit and disappear. The fake smile faded.

I felt the hot tears started to build up in my traitorous eyes. I felt something that was so heavy in my chest that I wanted to collapse.

I wanted to sleep.

I wanted this feeling out of my chest.

I wanted to die.

Die.

My hands clench into fist before wiping my cheeks. I stroll around the hall and saw my mom cooking pancakes.

She smiled at me before serving me a plate of our breakfast.

“Too early, huh?” she asks, before she tugs a frown on her lips, “why are your face pale? Is something happened?” her sweet voice was full of concern. She walk towards me, leaving the stove on as her light brown eyes stared back at mine.

I bit my lower lips, “Is it? No, nothing happened. Maybe just I’m sleepy. I didn’t sleep last night.” I shrug my shoulder.

She just sighed, looking at me cautiously like every minute, I will collapse.

I let myself munch the delicious food. After a minute, I stood up and grabbed the empty glass plate but before I could even step, I felt myself falling. My eyes shut close. I heard a loud thud before hearing the sound of a plate breaking.

Then, I heard my mom cries. I felt myself be devoured by the darkness and the pain.

Author’s Note:

I have return from hell and I’m ready to spread the LOVE!!! My requirements from my school are finally done and I can’t wait to go to Bataan! I’m spending my vacation there and the beach there are beyond beautiful. The graduation of my sister is so close I can’t wait to see her in the stage.

Mom will probably cry to see her daughter graduating college! I can’t wait!

I change the title and I was pretty hype as I write these. It was inspired by the song ‘Close To You’ by the Carpenters. The message of the song is so sweet that I keep on singing it even on my sleep.

See you on my next update!