love, simon: one-shots.

Yours, Simon.

Simon seated in the front seat of the church, everything felt so unfamiliar, for the fact that he wasn't here much often. Silence filled the room as people came in giving him nothing but nods or words of sympathy. All Simon wanted to do was screaming at people to just leave him alone. Words and nods weren't going to bring Bram back, as much as he wished it could. The room started to fill in as the funeral began. He looked at his boyfriend lying on the coffin, trying to convince himself that this wasn't real. He had been telling himself that since he heard the news, maybe if he repeated it time and time again it'd become true. He heard Bram's voice in his head. "I'll pick you up tomorrow at 7 okay? Don't be late." He had laughed at his boyfriend when he asked him not to be late because they both knew so well he would be; still, he promised to be ready to go by the time he stopped by his house. As the funeral began Simon did nothing but stare at his lap, this whole thing wasn't true after all, right?

"We gather here today to celebrate the life of Abraham Greenfeld, who has now returned to her home with Our God, The Father," the priest began.

As the funeral occurred people gave Simon sad and pity looks. His family and some people from school were there too, including Garrett and Nick. Both of them looked shocked or sad but neither of them was crying. They'd given Simon their condolences and Nick told him he could arrange a meeting if Simon wanted to break some stuff. "That's what I do when I'm pissed" he had said. Abby and Leah called too and apologized they couldn't go.

"I don't know how people do this," he started with a dry chuckle "You weren't supposed to be laying there, Bram, you know? We were supposed to go to the movies today for our 3 year anniversary, do you remember? You promised to pick me up at 7 so we could also have dinner. And we were supposed to go to a stupid photo booth because you were so excited that we've been dating for 3 years. And I was going to buy those cute mini Oreos package instead of popcorn. I can hear your voice telling me how silly it was, but also that you loved it... Why would you break a promise like that? I know I get mad at you sometimes for not wanting to watch the flash with me because you always complain that you hate it so much, when you secretly have the whole adventure figures set, but I really need my best friend to hold me right now and tell me that things are going to be okay. I need you to tell me everything is okay. So will you please just... do something?" after waiting for a response and obtaining nothing that's when it hit him; he sighed feeling himself crying "Bram please..." he sobbed "Please wake up"

"Si?" he heard a voice say. He didn't want to look back. All he wanted to do was stay right where he was holding his boyfriend's hand, hoping for him to give him a sign that he was still there. "Are you going to be okay?" He turned his head seeing his sister, Nora, standing next to him. He simply nodded not wanting to alarm her.

***

Simon sat on his bed. He tried not to panic at the idea of not seeing his boyfriend at school; or in the parking lot, or in his house, or at all. He pushed all these thoughts away, afraid that he might break down. His mother asked if he wanted to stay at home, call in sick, but Simon couldn't, due to his finals.

Simon heard that in school Ms. Albright said a few nice words in honor of Bram and Mrs. Wise did the same and gave Simon their condolences. Simon sat in his car in their college's parking lot, tears on his cheeks, when he heard a knock on his window. He looked over, Martin.

Stay calm; he thought to himself, you got this, Spier. He rolled the window down, looking at his classmate's face.

"Can I sit?" Martin said. He nodded. "How are you holding up?" Martin asked in a sad tone.

"Well, my grades are shit, my boyfriend just died and I have nothing to live for so, I guess you could guess everything is fucking amazing!" Simon said sarcastically.

"Yeah, I get it" Martin replied.

Is he serious right now? "I get it?" YOU DON'T FUCKING GET IT, YOU FUCKING MORON. He took a deep breath to help him calm down.

"Trust me, you don't, Martin"

"My grades are shit too. Nobody even likes me." He replied.

"Do you want to know why nobody likes you? It's because you're a dick."

"Excuse me?" Martin almost sounded shocked.

"You blackmailed me 3 years ago," he started "because you were too much of a coward to ask a girl out, you invaded mine AND MY BOYFRIEND'S privacy, when you took those fucking screenshots and you FUCKING OUTTED ME to the whole school. So, don't give me the "I get it" bullshit because we all know you're really just a backstabbing piece of shit."

Simon knew he raised his voice more than intended but, at this point, he was so angry he didn't even care.

"He's not your boyfriend anymore, Spier. Move on."

"Get the fuck out my car," he said, without cracking his voice.

As soon as he did, Simon drove to the cemetery, tears rolling down his face, he didn't know if from sadness, anger, or both. He could feel his face burning from whatever it was that he was feeling right now. As soon as he got there he ran to Bram's grave, kneeling in front of it. He sighed before saying anything.

"Okay," he started "I don't know how this works. I feel kind of silly to even be doing this, but I'm willing to try; for you. I had a shitty day today... Martin was all up my ass trying to tell me how he got everything that was going on. Jesus the straights think they know everything nowadays. I cried while driving here, I tried to calm down and even listened to that song you love so much, but it turns out it only made me cry more. I miss you, you know? I miss you so much and I miss your terrible jokes and the way you held me." Simon took a deep breath trying not to break down again. "I wrote you a letter, for our anniversary, I was going to give it to you when you picked me up but then you were—" he breathed "you were gone. It's not very good but, uh, I thought maybe I could read it."

He took the letter out of his jacket unfolding it. He had a terrible handwriting when he was nervous, Bram would always complain about it. He took a deep breath, washing his tears from his eyes, and he started reading.

"Dear Bram,

You somehow managed to stick with me after 3 whole years, that's insane. You managed to fall in love with a nerd whose only interests are music and Oreos (and, of course, you). I remember that day at the fair, where we first met in person (well, technically, because you were friends with one of my best friends); I was so nervous I thought I'd puke the moment I got out of the car. Then I lost hope and thought you wouldn't appear, but then I found you and everything went okay. Whenever I feel like stuff gets messy, I think of that day and I know that I have you by my side to support me through everything, and I hope you know you make me the happiest boy alive. Happy 3 year anniversary. I love you and thank you.

Forever yours,

Simon"

He washed the tears off his face. "In an alternative universe, I know you still stand by me, holding my hand, like you always used to. In that same universe, I still lay in your bed while you're reading. In every universe, I still hold your hand like I used to, I still kiss you like I used to, and I'm still yours like I used to be," Simon whispered touching his boyfriend's gravestone. "Always."