Justice Eternal

08 - Blame Game

Back in Frankfurt, Justice stood alone in the backyard and moved through a karate kata* for the fourtieth time. It had been two days since Dublin, and the only time she could hold back the tears was while doing the practiced routines. Over and over she'd flowed through the movements; mind blank, lost in the rhythm of step, push, breathe. Fresh summer air flowing through her nostrils, cool grass soft beneath her bare feet.

It mostly worked.

Images of Wynn flickered across the void and she faltered. Her heart rate increased as memories pushed through. A sob escaped her and she fell to her knees and cried. Arms wrapped around herself, Justice felt lost in a deep well of despair.

I can't do this alone.

In the hours following Wynn's death, Baulder had been a pillar of strength. He'd held her as she cried and told her everything was going to be alright. Like a lighthouse strong and bright in the middle of a storm he'd taken command. With an unnatural calm, he'd placed phone calls and quickly assembled help from the local supernatural community. A team of various abilities overtook the complicated and discreet process of covering up three mortal deaths, and arranging passage to Olympus for Riley and her subjugated mother. And, lastly the return of Wynn to her family.

However, as soon as they'd arrived home, Baulder had retreated to his bedroom and not come out for two days.

Justice knew he would be grieving in his own way. Though his distance made her feel more despondent and lonely than ever, she had let him be. But, kata could only distract her for so long. What she really wanted, was someone to talk to. She pushed up from the grass, and wiping her face dry, went inside to find him.

At the prince's bedroom door, she hesitated. Feeling uncertain, she was worried that he was hiding away because he was angry with her. It twisted her stomach, and she felt sick. Nervously, she cleaned under a fingernail. This was the third time since they'd got back that she'd come here. Each time she stood and silently begged for his voice to call to her from the other side. Through their bond, he would know she was there, in the same way that she knew he was sitting in his favourite armchair by the window.

Should she knock first, or walk in like normal?

Normal was gone. In its wake was a hollowness she didn't know how to fill.

Unbidden, a sob escaped her and tears welled in her eyes.

Not again.

A lump rose in her throat, and her heart felt squeezed as though in a vice. She sniffed and blinked back the waterfall that threatened to spill over. It frustrated her that no matter how much she cried, it seemed there was always more to come.

Determined tears fell from her eyes and Justice angrily wiped them from her face.

Wynn was gone, and crying wasn't going to bring her back.

Nothing could bring her back.

It was unfair.

And, it's all my fault.

Justice swallowed back another silent gasp of heartache that sought to escape her. She put her face into her hands and held her breath. Head fallen forwards, loose waves of blonde hair hung about her face and blocked out the world. It was too much, and feeling alone, she let the wave of grief wreck her again. With eyes squeezed shut, she convulsed with silent sobs until it was over. Three minutes of tears and snot and failure.

She stared at the doors again.

The handle was cold in her hand as she slowly wrapped her fingers around it. A silent push, a breath held, and she slipped into the room.