Jacksepticeye X Depressed Reader

~~Chapter 11~~

    I took some inspiration from @jasza53 for the café, more specifically the workers, and I did ask if this was okay, and it was as long as I, obviously, credited them. They have wrote a really good story called 'Help Me, It Hurts' and you should check it out!

    The torture device on your bedside table woke you up from your peaceful sleep at a rather early late 6 am; you usually wake up at four for no reason really. As soon as you opened your eyes, a burning feeling hit you. It wasn't too bad, but it was painful. Oh fuck, I forgot to take my contacts out! Quickly rushing to the bathroom to remove the devil lenses, relief hit when they came off. But soon after, you realized you would have to wear glasses. Glasses weren't terrible, but you do prefer contacts. The prescription glasses you had were round glasses that most people wear for aesthetic. People said you looked cute when you wore them, but you never saw it. Pulling the glasses from the bathroom drawer, where you kept your contacts stuff, you dusted then off and placed them on your face.

    The feeling of glasses was really weird. Almost forgetting, you put in some eye drops to help with the slight stinging. You saw just as good with the glasses, so that was good. Okay, so where's that café at again? You went to look the name up on your phone. Hmm..'Bradley's Kitchen'. Sounds simple, yet homely.

    Getting my shoulder bag together with stuff that could prove useful, I smiled at the thought of a new, different job. From what the search results said, this place was only a couple blocks away. If I did end up getting the job, I wouldn't have to waste gas to get there. Locking my house, I walked down the sidewalk at a slightly brisk pace. Not purposely, but it's really just how I walk usually. After about 20 minutes, you saw the sign of the café and slightly sped up your speed. Their shop was on the list for hiring spots, so there was a 'hiring' sign on the door. Oh god, what if I don't get it? Oh no, this was a bad idea. You started shaking a little bit as you walked up to the door, pushing on it slightly.

    The café looked really cozy, a good amount of floor space with some bar space as well. A couple heads turned to face you, but for only a second.  It smelled of  strong coffee beans, and strawberry shortcake. A older lady sat behind the counter making what looked like a banana smoothie, and another younger woman was serving a man at a different table. As you walked up to the counter, the lady greeted you kindly, "Hey, there, what can I get'cha?" She had a huge heartwarming, motherly grin on her face. "Um..I was looking to see if you're still hiring..?" You left hand started twitching, anxiety kicking in strong. "Heavens, yes, we are, dear, you don't have to be so nervous." She flashed you another smile. You gave her one back, yours not as welcoming, but still kind nonetheless. "Let's come over here and sit down." She led you to a two seat table in the cafe. "Candice, can you be sure to keep up while I'm busy?" She asked the other woman in the room with a slight raised voice, making sure she could hear her. "Yeah, momma." Momma? Was that an inside joke or was she her daughter?

    You took off your bag, placing it on the chair, so you could feel a little more comfortable.

    "First, things first," she started, "my name's Linda, I've owned this place for practically all of my early 20s to now, so I'm one of the older folks here." You both shared a laugh. "Why were you looking at this place for a job...?" Linda asked. "Oh, my name's Y/n, Y/n L/n, and.. I don't know, I've worked online jobs for most of my life and I wanted to try something new once I couldn't find any more." She nodded assuringly. "This also seems like the kind of environment I could fit into kind of easily, not trying to suck up, but when I stepped in here, it just felt so homey." Your left hand was shaking quickly, but you were trying your absolute best to hide it in your tone of voice. You also tried to stop your hand from shaking by putting it under your leg. "Sweetie, sorry if I'm intruding, but do you have any disorders that make you this anxious?" She took ahold of your open hand tenderly. You flinched at the contact, but eventually relaxed. You nodded slowly, choking on your breath. She nodded back, continuing with normal questions; phone number, name, previous experience, hours that are okay if accepted, dress code if accepted, and other stuff like that. "I think that I'll be getting back to you soon, Y/n," she stood up, you following after. She smiled at you, shaking your hand soothingly. You gave her a half grin back. You both walked your separate ways, Linda going back behind the counter, you leaving the shop and going home. You felt something pull on your chest, extremely afraid of what the results would be.

    Once you got outside and down the sidewalk a ways, you start shaking a lot. Your breathing got hitched in my throat. I can't breathe. Why am I like this? It's ringing too much. Fuck fuck fuck no I can't feel my own hands. Please make it stop. Make it stop. What if I don't get the job? She'll never call back. I'm just a worthless fuck up of human life. Why can't I just have a normal life? I think I'm on the ground. I'm shaking so much, all the white noise won't let me think clearly, footsteps. Footsteps? Loud stomping. Someone's touching me. Stop touching me. It's so bright, is it the sun? It hurts to lay on my back and my arm. Fuck. Stop touching me. Noise. Different noise. A voice. Duplicates of the same voice. Words. Jumbled sentences. "Are..oka.." "Do I ne...cal...11?" It hurts so much. My lungs don't have air. Throat itchy. No oxygen. Help help please help.

    Shut up Y/n.

    "Are you okay?!" High pitched voice in my ear. Stop talking so loud. Pink. White. Black. Bright light. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Keep counting, it's okay. No it's not. Yes it is, shut up. Fuck, breathe. "Just breathe! 1, 2, 3. Blue, Green, Yellow." They spoke in familiar terms to get you back. Regulate breathing. In and out, in and out. You're feeling better. "Focus on my constant voice." The, still unknown, person told you in a quiet voice. After a while, you got ahold of your breathing and was able to see clearly again. You were laying on your back on the sidewalk. A girl with short pink hair, a white and black shirt, some jeans and boots was looking at you. She had a concerned face and was propping you up against a tree. You sat up into a sitting position and looked at her, completely wide eyed. "Are you aware of the things around you?" She asked, still holding onto you slightly. You nodded, naming objects around you, "mailbox...bush....bench.." She helped you steady your breathing a bit more and finally asked you some questions. "Are you okay?" She brushed the hair out of your face. "I t-think s-so.." Your left hand was still twitching violently. "Is anything hurt?" Simple questions. Those are good. "N-Nothing n-new." You stared straight ahead, looking at the closest house's mailbox. "My name's Max, what's yours?" Her voice was low, soft and gentle. "Y/n." Your head was clearer now, and your lungs felt lighter. "Can you stand, Y/n?" When she asked that, you tried to stand, and for the most part you succeeded. Your legs were a little wobbly, but Max helped steady you.

    Public panic attacks happen sometimes, usually when you're under a lot of stress or anxiety. For the most part, your hand just starts shaking and your breathing is quickened, it doesn't usually escalate into something overly serious. Today something was just off. Maybe I didn't get enough sleep? I don't know. Yeah, that's probably it, no sweat. "Do you want me to walk you home, Y/n?" Max asked. She seemed to have some good experience in calming people down and making them feel safe. Maybe she has a family member who gets panic attacks. "If it's not too much t-trouble, please." She nodded and led you down the sidewalk, following your directions. Her left hand was on the middle of my back rubbing it slowly, still trying to keep me calm so I wouldn't break down again. Once you both got to your house, you unlocked the door with your shaking hands. You weren't shaking as bad as you were before, but it still lingers. Max still had a hand on you once you stepped inside and stopped. You turned to face her, she had so many emotions in one look; concern, thankfulness being prominent. "T-thank you, Max." Your eyes were puffy and red, but you smiled the best you could, hoping she would notice. "Don't thank me, I was just doing what was right, Y/n." She smiled back at you, hers more visible.

aaa this one is depressing oOps, well yeah, new character: Max

I could do another getting to know her? would you guys want that? please let me know or else I wont ever know what to do e.e I tried something new with this one, with a POV change so if you like that, let me know :)